be more assertive

rough day today.
filled with self-loathing.
try again tomorrow.

I’ve worked at my office for two years, now.
This new woman started, maybe a month ago. My tendency is to always feel a little off, like the new kid on the block.
Well, new woman asked me for help. Suddenly (for 1 second) I saw myself as the old timer, the more established one. Of course, I’d help her, I said. I felt mildly big-sisterly.
Plus, I argued with a contractor yesterday. A while ago, I would have been deer in headlights, stunned speechless.
I think I need more tests like these, to make me stronger.