Fall in love

Why is it so easy to like someone? Like, I just said I’m tired and stuff and I’m off girls for a while and then someone comes along to blow me away. Not sure if she’s interested, but its just so easy to fall for her. probably me just being stupid ol me again. So patience and selfcontrol are of prime importance.

I think the only reason why I’m adding this entry is cause I recently had a revelation that it doesn’t help you put in all the effort into a relationship or even a friendship and the other person doesn’t recipricate.

Like I recently became friends with this person and after a few weeks they stopped talking to me, when I asked them about it their reply was, “We don’t spend a lot of time together, but that’s cause I know you’re always there for me!” And it hit me, I’m always there for her, but the reverse is unfortunately not true! And I realised alot of my friendships are like that, So now I put effort into those who do the same.
Because of the way I dealt with my friendships, I was draging that whole I’ll put in everything attitude into how I pursued girls and it just never worked out, not that I’m all happy and in a relationship at the moment. But I know that she’s got to want me too, as much as I want her. Untill I meet someone that desires me too, I’ll only be chasing after a dream instead of having the reality. So for now I’m chilled, waiting for God to supply! Till then I’m going to keep my eyes on my king!

Ok, so I seem to be really terrible at this… I meet a girl, become friends with her(to become friends with her), fall in love with her, tell her and then she freaks cause “We’re just friends?”

I dunno? Like in my mind we just started out that way, but as I got to know her… ja.

Guess I’m too geeky or something? All I know is that’s one friendship too many I’ve broken. So I’m off spending time with lady friends. When the right one comes along she’ll do all the work, cause I’m tired!

So I’m wondering(as the title says) if I make a bigger deal of falling in love.

The things that always enters my mind when I think of falling in love is 1)That I don’t want to waste time with someone who is not right for me, that hasn’t got the same ideals as I do and then after a few months out paths diverge. and 2) I’ve seen so many people hurt by relationships that don’t work that I don’t want to be one of the walking wounded.

But then I also think that by sticking to number 1 I’m very likely to miss my soul mate, my perfect 10 because I overlooked her all because she didn’t immediately meet my idea of who she should be. Like I think by doing the whole, does she look like who I picture she should look like(I’m talking actual looks, I mean personality and spirituality, I’m not that shallow, Gosh!!!) I miss her because A) I’m looking for the wrong thing cause I don’t actually know what I want and B)Because I’ve been a judgemental idiot!!!

I think my idea of what love is really needs to change, to learn that everyone is worth investing in, even if its just for friends. I also need to look to not be selfish in the whole process, that things should be about loving the person and not loving what they can do for me! I lack!!!

Thats my biggest question. Why do people have to fight to fall in love? Ok, maybe I’ve just been burned one too many times, but I notice that alot of people who want it the most struggle the most too? Is it that we’re looking in the wrong place? Do I have desperate written on my forehead? Am I just not in sync with what God wants for me? Or maybe its like my friend said? We so busy looking for the “Big” thing that we miss the small fine details in life that takes us to where God wants us to go. Either way, I’m not giving up on real love! I believe there is someone that I’ll find really special and will find me special too! Just got to keep praying!