(Crossposted to my journal and 43 Things)
I’m carrying around a hell of a lot of animosity towards the ex right now. (The latest flash expression of this – I wouldn’t call it a daydream, per se, but it’s close – was an image of myself lying on the playa screaming at him that I would bleed to fucking death before I accepted help from him again.) It doesn’t help that he’s ignoring me. And it’s not like I’m emailing him every day, whining “I love you, I miss you, I’m crying big emo tears because you’re not here” – I’m talking about simple things, like asking a question about something he posted in his journal. (And I’ve had more than one person ask why I don’t just stop reading his journal…but the thought of cutting him out of my life still hurts more than the prospect of him cutting me out of his.)
I need outside help to process this, I’m almost certain. And there’s plenty of other crap in my life that would benefit from the input of a neutral party, as well.
Of course, how I’m going to afford pshrinkage when I can’t pay the rent is another matter, but hey – I’m eating this elephant one bite at a time.
