be more feminine

So I got my hair cut, I got sick of my overgrown just blowing infront of my face as soon as i step outside fringe monster thing. I went for shorter hair too as I’e realised long hair just looks silly on me and I got plenty of layers put in, some really short. I figured since I’m always trying to tame my mess of hair into perfect straight hair which im sick of, I’d go for a supposed to messy so it looks good hair do :)

My friends and I went makeup shopping too and got some much needed help as I always get the colours wrong.

When you tie that into the recent clothes shopping trips we have been doing, the attached picture is the result

I had my hair cut a little a couple of weeks ago as well as getting it dyed, I don’t like the cut so much but it was just to clean it up a little while I grow it again. I’ve started to wear more feminine tops and make a bit more of an effort in my appearence with wearing makeup etc.

I guess its paying off as my team manager commented on it today, I still feel I have a few other things to sort before I can say this is complete though.

something happened a couple of days ago which hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was walking off my estate for the first time in years (I drive everywhere) to head off to the train station, as I got to the end of the estate which is an area I never go as its just a foot path to leave that part of the estate, I walked past some woman who was leaving her house when she suddenly shouts out “Thats a man! I’d heard about it on the estate but not seen it” that one single comment has seriously crushed me :( stupid comments I can either handle or shrug them off, but the fact she said “heard about it on the estate” is obvious there is gossip going on about me, which seriously stings but still, it was bound to happen living where I live.

I guess the good thing thats come from this is making me want to continue to become more feminine.

I’ve began to really work on this over the past couple of weeks. my first change has been the way I dress, although I don’t think what clothes I wear are the sole (or most) importance way of being more feminine I do think it helps. I’ve been looking at the way I dress and it had become seriously tomboyish (if even possible for me) without me really realising so I’ve began to inject femininity into what I wear.

I got my hair cut too, I haven’t had one for a couple of months now so I’ve had a friend clean it up a little for me as well as start to wear a little makeup rather than almost always none lol.

Those are all just visual appearences, I think my attitude and all the other aspects needs to change a little too, though thats going to be harder to acomplish.

I’d made progress but somewhere along the line I lost sight of it all and took steps back, lost the confidence I guess!

I’ve started to do my hair more often as well as my makeup, though its not an awful lot. As long as I have my mascara and eyeliner with me then I’m happy :) as I like to focus attention to my eyes.

I’d still like to do more, I tend to dress awfully tomboyish which I do like and won’t stop doing, its who I am but adding a little feminity to it wouldn’t hurt.