endevor to laugh more than I cry… I’m not even going to try and begin this month because so far I’m crying most days.
~Lady-of-Shalott~Countess Purrs Like a Kitten has written 48 entries about this goal
it’s true, this year everyone is calling me the Grinch, because I am couinting down the hours… not until Santa comes, Not until we get to open presents- (Because I asked for none and instead asked for “experiances”) not until the Christmas lights are turned on..
No I am waiting UNTIL IT’s ALL OVER!
And since it’s now 3.31pm Christmas EVE, I DO NOT Have long to wait at all :O)
—- —- —-JANUARY BABY- —- —- —- —
Pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes ti me to
Recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
Someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
Freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
Aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
But rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
Inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
New and realize that you are a perfect match.
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and
Reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
And sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
Feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
Repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
New love in 8 days.
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
Work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
Memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
For information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or
Make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
Others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
Travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains. If you
Repost this in 5 mins, a Cutie that’s caught your eye
Will introduce themselves and you will realize that
You are very much alike in the next 2 day S.
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
Highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
Dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
Imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
Literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike
Being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
Next 5 minutes, you will beco me close to someone
You do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
You’ve got the best personality and are an
Absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
New friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
And more than likely have an a very attractive
Partner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
That you have a massive record collection. You
Have a great choice in films, and may one day
Beco me a famous actor/actress yourself – heck,
You’ve got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
Will meet someone that may possibly become
One of your closest friends, if you repost this in 5 minutes.
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
Be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
Consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s
Feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.
Spazzy at times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
And forms impressions carefully. Caring and
Loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
Sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
Through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
In studying. Loves to be with friends Always broods
About the past an d the old friends. Waits for
Friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
Unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
But takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in the next 12 days
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every
thing’s peachy” attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”.
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by “no pain no gain” caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming”
or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
someti me next month.
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will beco me mad
at you in the next 8 days.
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the centre. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will
not meet the love of your life for 10 years.
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind.
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking
person possible… better than all of these other
months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music..
--- --- ---DECEMBER BABY --- --- ---
Can’t eat Beef …....
Can’t eat chicken ….
Can’t eat eggs ….
Can’t eat pork…
fears of trichinosis…
Can’t eat fish ….
heavy metals in the waters has poisoned their meat
Can’t eat fruits and veggies …..
insecticides and herbicides
I believe that leaves Chocolate!!!!!!!!
Remember – - –
spelled backwards! is
’ DESSERTS ‘
Send this to four people and you will lose 2 kgs
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room. She said: ‘How is my little boy? Is he going to be all right? When can I see him?’
The surgeon said, ‘I’m sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn’t make it.’
Sally said, ‘Why do little children get cancer? Doesn’t God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you?’
The surgeon asked, ‘Would you like some time alone with your son? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he’s transported to the university.’
Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ran her fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. ‘Would you like a lock of his hair?’ the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy’s hair, put it in a plastic bag and handed it to Sally.
The mother said, ‘It was Jimmy’s idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. ‘I said no at first, but Jimmy said, ‘Mom, I won’t be using it after I die. Maybe it will help some other little boy spend one more day with his Mom.’ She went on, ‘My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting to help others if he could..’
Sally walked out of Children’s Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spending most of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy’s belongings on the seat beside her in the car.
The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. She carried Jimmy’s belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair to her son’s room..
She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his room exactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and, hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep.
It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Lying beside her on the bed was a folded letter. The letter said :
I know you’re going to miss me; but don’t think that I will ever forget you, or stop loving you, just ‘cause I’m not around to say ‘I Love You’. I will always love you, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Until then, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won’t be so lonely, that’s okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide to get a girl instead, she probably wouldn’t like the same things us boys do. You’ll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know.
Don’t be sad thinking about me. This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me as soon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time to see everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know what? Jesus doesn’t look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, I knew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD! And guess what, Mom? I got to sit on God’s knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That’s when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye and everything. But I already knew that wasn’t allowed. Well, you know what Mom? God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off to you. God said for me e to give you the answer to one of the questions you asked Him ¡where was He when I needed him?’ ‘God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross.. He was right there, as He always is with all His children.
Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see what I’ve written except you. To everyone else this is just a blank piece of paper. Isn’t that cool? I have to give God His pen back now He needs it to write some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the table with Jesus for supper. I’m sure the food will be great.
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don’t hurt anymore the cancer is all gone… I’m glad because I couldn’t stand that pain anymore and God couldn’t stand to see me hurt so much, either. That’s when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery! How about that?
Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.
A young couple wanted to join the church, the pastor told them, ‘We have a special requirement for new member couples. You must abstain from sex for
one whole month.’
The couple agreed, but after two-and-a-half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying and the husband was obviously very depressed. ‘You are back so soon… Is there a problem?’ the pastor inquired.
‘We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month.’ The young man replied sadly.
The pastor asked him what happened.
‘Well, the first week was difficult… However, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable. We tried cold showers, Prayer, reading from the Bible…anything to keep our minds off Carnal Thoughts. One afternoon my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and I just had my way with her right then and there. It was lustful, loud, passionate sex. It lasted for over an hour and when we were done we were both drenched in sweat,’ admitted the man, shamefacedly.
The pastor lowered his head and said sternly, ‘You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church.’
‘We know.’ said the young man, hanging his head, ‘We’re not welcome at Bunnings either.’
One day an Irishman who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship.” And, as the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out the possibilities of a small boat and even a raft.
Suddenly there emerged from the surf a wet-suited black clad figure.
Putting aside the scuba gear and the top of the wet suit, there stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde!
The glamorous blonde strode up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar” “Ten years,” replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and
unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wetsuit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars. He takes one, lights it, and takes a long drag. “Well” said the man, “that is so good I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”
“And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Irish whiskey?” asked the blonde. Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.” Hearing that, the blonde reaches over to her right sleeve, unzips a pocket and removes a flask and hands it to him. He opened the
flask and took a long drink. ”’Tis nectar of the gods!” stated the Irishman. ’’Tis truly fantastic!!!”
At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played around?” With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”
8:00 am – Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm – Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm – Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat’s Daily Diary…
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of
dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless
must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this
would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’
I am. Bastards.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the
food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must
learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving
around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow—but at the top of the
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives
special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for
him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now….............
Two guys are sittin’ in a boat at Sam Rayburn Reservoir in Texas fishing and suckin’ down beer when all of a sudden Bill says, “I think I’m going to divorce my wife – she hasn’t spoken to me in over 6 months.”
Earl sips his beer and says, “You better think it over – women like that are hard to find.”
Thirteen things that PMS stands for:
1. Pass My Shotgun.
2. Psychotic Mood Swing.
3. Perpetual Munching Spree.
4. Puffy Mid-Section.
5. People Make me Sick.
6. Provide Me with Sweets.
7. Pardon My Sobbing.
8. Pimples May Surface.
9. Pass My Sweatpants.
10. Pouty Mood Syndrome.
11. Plainly, Men Suck.
12. Pack My Stuff.
and of course the most common…
13. Potential Murder Suspect.
Of Course my Bloke said I never had any of these problems!!
~Lady-of-Shalott~Countess Purrs Like a Kitten has gotten 10 cheers on this goal.
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