lose 50 pounds

Burned out that it makes no sense!!!!!! I am getting really discouraged here!!! Didn’t lose again this week… in fact I gained 3 pounds and did the same thing I’ve been doing… whole grains… no red meat or pork… no fried foods… plenty of veges and fruit… staying under 1600 cals a day… exercising 3-5 days a week… and I am not budging!!!!!!!! AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!! I want to scream so bad! Actually I want to go dive into a pizza and a Pepsi right now!!! I do not want to be 230 anymore… and at the same time I am so sick of dieting that everything is starting to get on my nerves!!! GOD HELP ME PLEASE!!!

2 pounds… I wish I could lose this weight faster…. it is driving me crazy… I did however find a web site called Sparkle people!!! This site is like the online version of weight watchers… but it’s free!!! Anyone interested… email me at lallen304@yahoo.com and I will email you the info!!!

this week… I haven’t even dropped 1/2 pound this week and I stuck to my diet… well, I cheated on Saturday and I guess that was enough… Last week was a really emotional week… I don’t know why but it was sort of crazy for me… but I’m feeling normal this week so hopefully, I’ll do better!!! At work they had employee appreciation day and I didn’t even look at all the goodies they had for us!!! Major accomplishment on my behalf!!! This weekend I planted a garden and the next day I woke up sore like I had been to the gym working out for 5 hours straight!!! I stayed outside a lot… My grandmother cooked for the first time in forever though so of course I ate good on Saturday but I don’t feel guilty at all… maybe it’s because I know this week I am getting back up again… just a slight downfall… so here we go… yet another week of dieting!!! Yipee!!!

I lost another 1.5 pounds… 40 to go!!!!!

this week!!! I think it is because I worked out really hard!!! 8.5 pounds total since I started over!!! Yay me… 41.5 pounds to go and then I can start on the next 40 pounds!!! I can’t wait to see me in my new body… then maybe I can gain some confidence in myself!!! I’m already feeling better about myself. And for all those out there that are trippin on themselves because of a cheat day… don’t do that just keep trying… eventually you won’t want to cheat anymore!!! Plus it’s a good thing to incorporate what you like in your diet… just don’t do it every day and don’t overindulge!!! So here goes… week 3… I think!!!

Okay… I am proud of me… Tuesday will be one week and I am still dieting!!! I know that doesn’t seem like much… but to me it means the world!!! So far… 5 pounds!!! I know it’s only water weight but at least that part of it is gone!!! I went to visit the love of my life today…the ex fiance… and he gave me a nice little boost to help me stay focused!!! His motto for working out on days when you don’t feel up to it is push yourself to start and by the time the work out is over you’ll feel a lot better and you’ll be glad you did!!! I take that to heart and I push myself to do some cardio and weight training and by the time I am done… I’m a little tired but… what he says is true… I feel a lot better and I am sooooo glad I worked it out today!!!

It has been about a month since the last time I’ve been on this site!!! Hello all!!! I… as usual… for the past few months have gotten off track… emotional eating!!! Since last month I have gained 15 pounds making me weigh more than I have ever weighed in my life!!! I am not at all happy about this!!! Not only that but I feel really unhealthy. For instance my back and my knees hurt really bad and I can’t breathe! On Monday, however, I got back on track. Started making better food choices and walking!!! So far I am doing good!!! I actually got stressed over my job and went for a 1/2 hour walk and did some sculpting exercises to get through it instead of eating! I am beyond proud of myself for that! I am starting to feel better already! This time I am determined to get healthy!

Okay last week I was a little down on myself… and I decided to start all over again with my diet…. week one of my start over period went well… it was not at all easy… but I did really good this week!!! A gang of water, lots of fruits and veges and baked or broiled chicken all week and I lost 5 pounds!!! I am guessing most of that was water weight… but that’s five pounds gone… 45 to go!!!

but I again am trying to get back up!!! I haven’t gained any more wieght back but yet I haven’t lost any more either!!! I think it is time for me to stop making up excuses and just do what I have to do!!! This past weekend, my boyfriend comes in town to do one of his biweekly visits and he and I argue almost the entire time… thus I stayed in the drive thru at McDonald’s!!! I have been depressed since day one of his visit!!! I have learned that eating doesn’t make me feel any better though!!! I guess I am trying to justify my eating habits by blaming it on depression… I have to find a new hobby!!! Tomorrow is a day for new beginnings… whole new day!!! I am going to start all over again!!!

Okay today I did well on my diet!!! I haven’t weighed myself since the last entry but I think I am doing well!!! I went on line doing some research and decided that I am going to send my application to The Biggest Loser for casting!!! I think my biggest problem has to do with structure!!! I grew up in a family that cooks… how do I put this?... Southern!!! Fried Chicken, fried pork chops… everything fried, with tons of gravies and veges are cooked in butter!!! I don’t know how to cook any other way!!! The exercise thing, I can handle!!! I just need to be re-taught!!! I am trying to learn without assistance but it does get hard when you live at home with your grandmother who is set in her ways and won’t try anything new!!! Fingers Crossed!!!