be a better conversationalist

1. Stop and have a conversation when you see someone you know if you’re not busy. Don’t just say “hi, how are you?” and keep walking.

2. Remember people want to talk to you.

3. Make observations about what’s happening around you. You don’t have to stun everyone with your killer wit everytime you speak.

4. If you have nothing to say about the topic, say something general that kind of relates. I often stop myself from doing this because it seems random and out of place, but it’s much better than not conversing.

5. Use your hands a bit when you talk to people—you seem really uncomfortable when you keep playing with them, or just leave them hanging there.

6. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, ask questions so people know you’re interested in them, and listen some more! If people don’t listen/ask questions back, avoid future ‘conversations’.

7. Remember you can learn a lot from everybody; they are all different from you.

Naturally I’m a very quiet person. I used to wish I was more outgoing and talkative, but I am beginning to accept my personality more. I’ve enrolled in an 8 month program at a school that started yesterday, and noticed that I am better able to engage in conversation than before. It’s a publishing course, so for the most part people are a bit nerdy and, for me, easier to relate to. It seems like there are lots of questions to ask and small talk has never been so easy.
One of the biggest drawbacks I have is thinking people aren’t really interested in me. I think to some extent this is good, as you kind of want the focus to be on the other person, but if you share nothing of yourself then people might not want to share themselves with you. Give and take. That’s how them conversations go!