come out of the closet

In the past seven months I’ve taken a few steps here and there to open up and be the person that I am. There are a lot more people that know online and in real life. It helps.

But I still feel this divide. The more people that know, the more I can talk about it, but it’s still a double life.

I feel like I’m cutting myself off from my friends who don’t know. And I feel like I need to get to know some more GLBT people (which relates to another goal I have posted here).

it’s been about three years since i’ve come out to myself. i use ‘bisexual’ as my label just because i’ve always had a physical draw to women but i wonder if i do have any sexual draw to them.

i’m still in an awkward, trepidatious state. a big part of me wants me to get it all over with and just start being open about my sexuality but there’s still a lot of fear out there. i think a lot of it comes from me naturally being more inclined to protect myself from the negative or unpleasant despite whatever benefits there might be to glean from any situation.

but playing it safe all the time is not living.

I think I need to take the next step out…it feels like I’m not fully participating in my own life by staying in the closet.