be stronger

Part of being strong is learning how to walk away from “friends” who do you more harm than good, even if you’ve had years of friendship in the past. The past no longer matters. What matters is the present and how you are right now. And if a certain someone just no longer fits that, then hard as it is, you have to let go.

This is what I did with Karen and I just cannot look back. I did what I did because I felt used and abused and I wasn’t going to carry on with that. People may presume and assume all they want about my decision but I stand firm behind it. I have to keep my best interests at heart. She just doesn’t fit the kind of person and life I want to carry with me to the future.

I guess, my whole point here is, beings strong means not letting emotions get in the way of doing what’s best for you.

Hmm. That is the challenge I put to myself this month. I need to learn how to manage my money well and not let it get too wild that I can’t contain it in my bank account.

:)

Oh yes, I went to the gym today. I’m going to strengthen my core and lengthen my body. :) A strong personality needs a strong body to house it.

So. I had another mini meltdown yesterday and I wasn’t strong enough to control my emotions that I ended up trashing our place. I really don’t know why I do this to myself, why I let my head get carried away with the extremely psychotic story lines. My boyfriend loves me and that is that. That is the only fact I should be working around with, instead of all these insecurities that’s constantly threatening my relationship with him. Gaaah. I need to get over these things and just be strong in faith that he loves me so much and he has my best interest in his heart.

I’m just really grateful he’s very understanding and we managed to work out our issues today.

Thank you God for this beautiful life and for this beautiful man through whom I see, hear and feel Your love for me.

Sending positive energy to the universe that this relationship lasts and that I remove all negative and insecure thoughts in my head,
Sarah

In my quest to be stronger, I failed to take into account physical strength, which then led to a week in the hospital due to work-related stress + virus. Nyikes. I have a week to get back on track and recover. I plan to start having a more balanced life—-which means 3 balanced meals a day, 8 hours of rest, loads of h20 and exercise once I feel strong enough for the gym!

Being sick for a week made me realize that I shouldn’t take my health for granted..ever. It’s one of the reasons I have this job in Singapore at the moment. Everything depends on my health! Without it, I seriously have no means of building wealth. Haha.

I need to toughen my hide for the next three weeks as I am about to start a new job in the corporate jungle that is Singapore. I feel anxious about this as my friends have warned me that it’s dog-eat-dog world here and people here wear masks when they deal with you. I also need to be strong financially as I have very little money left to last me until the 24th. I’m really raising everything to God. I know that He will never leave me nor forsake me and there is nothing in this world his grace can’t give me. I need to let go and entrust everything to Him. I also need to be strong and offer these days of fasting to Him. :) Let me survive Lord…give me just enough to live by.

Thank you Lord for this beautiful life,
Sarah

Right now, I’m trying hard not to lose my temper and be strong here in the office. I just dropped by to finish last minute stuff and I am quite annoyed that MS Outlook decides to f*ck up and take ages to load. This is my last day at work and I’m really trying hard not to get angry and start shouting(as that will accomplish nothing!).

I hate this office so much and I can’t wait until I leave this damn place for good. They say don’t burn bridges, but this is one bridge I really want to blow up and bury for the rest of my life! I refuse to look back once I move. I simply refuse to.

I need to learn how to control my emotions.

Last night, I has another emotional breakdown because I still don’t have a job in SG at the moment. It was crazy. I know I need to be positive and strong about this, but sometimes, I can’t help but feel weak because the pace of progress is really slow with the job hunt. My boyfriend says I should believe in myself and believe with all my heart that I will find a job and I will find one eventually. I’m trying hard to do exactly as he advised, but it’s just discouraging when the phone isn’t ringing with requests for interviews.

I need to be mentally and emotionally strong right now. I can’t be weak in such trying times. God will provide, this I know and this I’m sure of.

I am stronger than my hormones. And for that reason alone, I will stop crying and feeling sorry for myself just because my boyfriend hasn’t picked up my calls nor replied to my messages. I’ve been PMS-ing and it has been causing me to feel sad and emotional about a lot of things. I really need to be strong now, more than ever about this.