The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday
If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.
One of the greatest labour-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
I’m going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.
Procrastination is similar experience to masturbation, it feels good while you’re doing it, but it sucks afterwards when you realize that you just screwed yourself.
The Procrastinator’s Creed:
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinitely small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don’t succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator’s Society) if they ever get it organized.
