party more

I am still not some kind of social butterfly, but I’ve made a conscious effort to relax, control my drinking, and force myself to socialize/start conversations at gatherings. The last couple events that I’ve been to, including the one last night, were actually really, really fun. When I began this goal, I had a lot of anxiety about what people thought of me or saying the wrong things, but now I loosened up a little bit and I can enjoy myself. I think that while some people would perceive this goal as superficial, but whatever, this is a social thing to me, not an excuse to get drunk or do stupid things. I enjoy talking to people and meeting people, so getting comfortable at parties was important to me. I think that yesterday I surprised my bf’s friends (and myself too) with how relaxed and open I was when talking to them. I was also fairly tactful, drank just the right amount to have fun but not be obnoxious, and generally held my own. To me, that is accomplishing the goal.

It was a lot of fun – never had that much fun at a party before. Now I can say that I have drank straight from a wine bottle before (it was good wine too). I think I’m better at judging my alcohol consumption rate too, I get to a point where I’m having fun and I know to stop.

Honestly, I’m not sure if it was worth it. It was kind of weird because it was the most typical college party anybody could imagine.. there was beer & drinking games everywhere, bad furniture and decor, old cigarette smoke, and stuffy air from the number of people squeezed into the tiny apartment. Maybe it’s because I loathe beer, but it was a very eh experience. I kind of wish I could have participated more. Am I a snob for hating beer? I just can’t bring myself to swallow questionable liquids in an effort to blend in with random people I barely know. I’m typically open-minded, but I just won’t drink that crap.