encourage others

Today I totally ripped a guy’s head off without meaning to. He wasn’t feeling well either so that didn’t help.

at this lately! I’m feeling a bit nervous about my trip overseas and so that anxiety has, I believe, led to a bit of “edginess” to my words and behavior. To the point of telling someone I care about that I was done with helping he and to just “fuck it” cause I “was done”. That’s just so not like me. I’ve called 2 people “stupid” one of which was my 17 year old nephew who I love with all my heart. I was able to apologize and we moved on, but I’m quite surprised at how I’m behaving in a way.

Gotta work this out, focus on what needs to get done and just do it. Need to make a phone call and apologize for my rudeness.

Awwwww, I’m just rubbish at this really.

I just finished a big old project and I supposed that during that time, I did encourage some people. But not as well as I would have liked to do.

I am rather proud that one of my very last acts as the leader of this team was to tell one guy that I was very proud of him because he’d really turned things around and become quite a good worker and team player. That of all the things that happened on that project, it was one of the things I was most proud of.

First time I said it in a stupid way..luckily he said “what” and I could redeem myself.

Want to keep working on this goal.

Ok….so I have gotten so completely off track on this goal it’s not even funny!

I am leading a team of people but have managed to get to a place where I’m in an environment of people who don’t trust one another. It’s hard because I honestly don’t trust them….but…I also know as the leader, I need to set the example of how we should all be treating each other.

That means being positive and enthuiastic and encouraging people as we get through the last part of this project.

That’s how we get through this thing!!

Want to change my own attitude so that I can help people see that we’re a good team and we CAN do this!

Not quite sure how to do that, except to act “as if”

of a difference on this tonight at toastmasters.
Stopped myself a couple times from making smart comments at various points that may not be encouraging.
Also, at the pub afterwards was encouraging of people by letting them speak. Didn’t have to tell my story of interview “woes” the way i would have had to do in the past.
Seemed pretty relaxing and much less stressful, by just being a bit more conscious of what I was saying.

why this is so difficult for me. Why I didn’t just “get it” until I met G.
Tonight I was at my mom’s and she was talking with my brother for a long time. She asked me to tell him about something I’d heard on the news and handed me the phone. I told him the story and we laughed.
Then I said, “so I have my interview tomorrow” He just said “I know” as he was yawning and then said “6513, is that the right number for J (our other brother). I just gave the phone back to my mom. Pissed me off, the little jerk.
That’s typical of my family’s enthuiasm…
Then, when I told my mom what happened, then she got all defensive and stuck up for him and said “you’re always that way”
WTF?? What way? Hurt and mad that my brother yawns in my ear and completely ignores the things that are important to me? Yeah, I guess I am “always that way”...

Thank God i have the friends I do!! they are hugely supportive and enthuiastic about me and I them…I’d just gotten off the phone with one that walked through the entire process with me and tomorrow I’m talking with another. It helps to know I have them on my side when my family is just plain rude…

in an article that the definition of encouragement is “instilling of courage or hope”

Love that…

told a friend I was glad his blog thread was successful. It was. Had 2 very good artists on there talking with people. Very good thread and he was excited about it.

not sure this counts, but it’s the best I can come up with today.

Tomorrow want to call my nephew and tell him I’m proud of him for turning in some over due work and getting his grade up to a B in his math class!

who is a teacher that he was doing a great job by teaching his kids alternate ways of learning besides just reading and writing. ie having wordless book reports…

it’s brilliant really…

having this goal reminds me to just take a second to encourage someone. like it!

So today my friend b sent me an email out of the blue to see how things are going with the job hunt. that was very cool!
he also told me he’d written an article for the statewide business journal. I congratulated him on that and think that was encouraging.

what i did to g was not so nice. i was sort of kidding, but sort of serious when i asked him not to link a site i was sharing with some other people at a blog we both frequented. i didn’t really know how to ask him nicely without hurting his feelings or making him mad so i made a joke out of it. then when he said he’d try not to do it when he’s blogging, i said i was just being a smart ass before. which i was, but i was also serious.
think i’m too much of a control freak maybe….

still think this is making progress though.