Fall in love

I followed my friend’s advice about being open. I stood in my vision of a loving, committed and passionate relationship. I was hesitating and tentative but I couldn’t know love until I put myself out there and asked questions despite the fear or possible embarassment from rejection. With the right person, there are no rules – only love. And with love, there’s understanding and acceptance. And I found it in my boyfriend now. He said I love you yesterday and I said it back. And so far so good – our actions towards each other everyday show how much we mean it.

I should be focusing on a final test tomorrow but I have lingering thoughts lately about my ex and the mess we create together. I think I miss what I thought we had. I thought he was my best friend and when I had a bad day or when I get scared, all I needed to do was come home. And now that I’m on a dating hiatus, it turns out it’s what I’ve been looking for that contentment that I felt when I was with him. I’m going to school to start a new career and a new life and with every step I take I think that I’m moving further away from him and I’m a little confused because I’m starting to think I’m moving away from love, getting married and having a family of my own. So logically, I just have to separate thoughts of him from feelings of love so I can fall in love with someone else. I miss him or maybe just what I thought we had. I think I need to pray a whole lot because he’s not really a guy I can trust to be married to or have a kid with. I just keep thinking how could I have been so wrong about him or us. Anyway, this is probably just loneliness talking and I’d rather post it on this board because I do hope to fall in love again someday. I think it helps me to read all the posts here because I think it’s really brave to open your heart and life to another person. And in the grand scheme of it all, my life is pretty good and my problem is not that big compared to the world’s disasters…so I think I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head so I can go back to studying to be a nurse and help people with real problems. Thanks everyone for writing about your adventures in love. I’m dipping my toes in the water but I hope to dive in again one day.

i need to get my sh!t together first.

falling in love…to recognize another person’s heart, mind, soul and body is difficult because not everyone is open to sharing those aspects of themselves. but then again, if you don’t risk being open and showing who you really are without seeking the other person’s approval-you’ve ceased being you so the love that develops will never be real. i was apprehensive about dating, but i must say it’s been great practice in being me and knowing who and what i want. it has me thinking why i never did it before. i can’t wait to go through my frogs to find MY prince-he won’t fulfill the traditional fairy tale-instead we’ll fulfill our own and i find peace in that. it’s amazing to see all the different characters out there…just gotta be patient until i find the one who fits. Good luck to all of us!