lose ten pounds

Well, I have lost 12 pounds since September 15, but not in the proper way. I found out that my live-in boyfriend had been cheating on me, and he broke up with me. I have been so depressed that I literally didn’t care to eat, and when I tried to eat, I threw it back up half the time. For about two weeks, I ate little more than a cup of applesauce a day because that was all I could keep down. So the pounds have melted off, which I guess is the only silver lining, but I still want to lose ten more pounds, and now that I am eating relatively normally again, I will have to do it the RIGHT way!

Just realized that I forgot to weigh in this past Monday; I was off work for a couple of days, and just totally slipped my mind. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be able to accomplish my goal of losing it before the Derby, though… I’ve procrastinated too much, and now it’s only three weeks away. Healthy weight loss is only 2 lbs. a week, which means that at best, I’ll fall a couple of pounds short. Oh well, it’s my own damn fault for not being more dedicated.

Well, I weighed in at 169.0 this morning, and am subtracting 1/2 a pound because I was running late for work and weighed in with clothes on, whereas I usually weigh in au naturel. So that’s good, but I’ve still got work to do! Spent the weekend being sick and moving into our new house, and will be unpacking all week, so I don’t know if I will be getting to the gym this week.

4/2/07: 168.5 lbs.

Mom brought me a quote from her page-a-day calendar that I just thought was hilarious. I’m not really a big cookie eater, but the sentiment is still a riot.

I’m paraphrasing: “There is a skinny woman inside me trying to get out… but I can usually shut the bitch up with a cookie.”

Well, I weighed in at 170.5 this morning, which is up 1/2 lb., but I am not worried about this because it is “that time of the month” and frankly, I am retaining so much water that I am blown up like a pufferfish. So next week’s weigh-in will be the next one that really counts.

3-26-07: 170.5 lbs.

God, I wish I at least somewhat enjoyed exercising; it would make this so much easier. Where are those wonderful endorphins I keep hearing about? At least the weather is getting nicer, so I am going to go run/walk in the park today instead of in the gym.

On Monday I did just 10 minutes on an elliptical machine, and I thought I was going to die! So pathetic.

3-19-07: 10 minutes on elliptical, 40 minutes of weights/stretching

Well, I didn’t do anything active this week, so I didn’t lose any. But I’ve been eating better, so at least I didn’t gain any! I am determined to start hitting the gym regularly this week, or to run outside if the weather is nice.

3-19-07: 170.0 lbs.

I’ve decided I need to start keeping track of my weight on a regular basis instead of just hopping on the scale any old time. So, every Monday morning when I wake up, I will face the scale-beast!

3-12-07: 170.0 lbs.

Not good. But I’ve got 7 weeks until Derby… it’s getting closer, but that’s plenty of time to drop 10 lbs.! Must get back to (and BEAT!) the good weight I was last summer (161 lbs. was my lowest point), so I don’t have to go buy new clothes.(Not that I wouldn’t like to have new clothes, but I’m poor!) My boyfriend and I will be hosting a big party at our new house for the Derby (the locals typically stay home and party instead of fighting the crowds of tourists at Churchill Downs), and I want to look FABULOUS!

I need to mean SERIOUS business about this goal. Two years ago, I topped out at 5’9” and 212 lbs. after a lifetime of being a skinny chick. I was always exhausted, unhappy… it was bad. Finally a doctor ran some additional tests and determined that I had a chronic disease (hypothyroidism) which caused the abnormal weight gain. After getting properly medicated, I dropped 50 lbs. to a low of 161, almost back to my fighting weight of 155, and I stayed within five pounds of that for over a year.

I weigh myself every Monday morning, and for some inexplicable reason, I’ve put a few pounds back on in the last few months. No life or diet changes, nothing. I went a wee bit over 170 recently, and I wanted to scream or cry or something. I mean, you can’t really tell a difference… but I can, and it’s just so frustrating. I’ve decided that instead of just setting a weight loss goal, I’d just try to stay below 170 for now, which should be a little easier to do without getting upset if I have a bad week. As long as I maintain below 170, I won’t feel too terrible, and then I can work on losing too. I’d still like to hit 155, but I felt pretty darn good at 161, so let’s see what I can pull off!

Still not being so good about this. Must improve, dammit!

• A couple of times, last couple of weeks: weight training, 1 hour
• Monday, 2/19: weight training, 1 hour, racquetball, 1/2 hour