Get a PhD

I’m moving this one up because I’m focusing on it again. I take the GRE in three weeks, so I’m studying like mad. Have a summer undergrad class just as a refresher and a fall grad class at one of the schools I’m applying to. I may be teaching a college class as well. Things are looking up—hooray!

I’m reconsidering this one. As much as I want to do it, it’s not really feasible financially. Once the market turns around and I might be able to sell my house, I can work on this again.

I’ve gotten slightly panicky lately about getting into the program I want, which is ridiculous because I know I can do it (in theory at least—I’m certainly good enough but who knows what the competition will look like?). But then I start thinking, what if I put all my energy into this goal for the next year and then it doesn’t pan out? So, I’m trying not to let it become all consuming. I’m trying to study at least a little bit every night for the GRE and for several hours on the weekends. I’m working on my submissions for the anthology so I have more published work to list on my application and CV. And in the little bit of time I have left over, I’m reading, reading, reading.

I guess my main concern about not knowing is the house. If I get in and quit my job for school, I can’t afford to keep it as the living stipend won’t cover my mortgage. So, I’m in this weird sort of limbo where I’m torn about how much effort to put into remodeling and decorating. I hate to pour my heart and soul (and what little money I have) into making it mine and then have to turn around and sell it to someone who will probably undo all the cute little custom features. On the other hand, I’d hate not to do it and then not get into school and have the house be in the same semi-finished state a year from now. A little part of me wishes I hadn’t bought the damn house. Ugh…

I’m having drinks with a professor on Friday and I’m going to volunteer to work on any projects she has so that I can get both experience and connections. I’ve also started working on my reading list and decided to start a blog where I can write about what I’m reading. I think it’ll help me stay focused and perhaps yield some good writing samples for my applications. I still need to get cracking on some online courses though. There just aren’t enough hours in the day…

I bought a GRE study guide this weekend. It’s super fat and slightly intimidating, but I’m ready to get cracking.

I also located my undergrad academic advisor and he agreed to write me a recommendation. I’ve sent out emails to a few other profs as well in hopes that they’ll do the same. It’s a little difficult since I graduated in ‘96 and then ‘99 for my Master’s.

I’m having lunch in two weeks with a guy who heads up the GLBT center on campus, who I hope will introduce me to folks who can help me get in to the program. And a friend is going to introduce me to a professor there in hopes that she can help too.

So far, so good. It’s encouraging to make a little bit of progress, at least.

This has been sort of a nebulous goal for me for years. Even in high school it was part of my ultimate life plan, and I’ve been thinking (and talking) about it a lot more the last few years. I’m ready now to stop just thinking, stop just talking and DO IT.

But not quite yet. I’ve missed the deadlines for fall 2008 admission (and the all-important funding), so I’m aiming for fall 2009. The application deadlines for that are just under a year away, leaving me plenty of time to accomplish the following this year:

1. study for – and ace – the GRE (I took the GMAT before)

2. take some online courses to brush up, expand my knowledge base, etc.

3. work my way through a reading list I’m compiling so that I enter the program (and any pre-admission interviews) smarter

4. identify possible dissertation topics

5. track down professors from undergrad and grad school who are willing to write letters of recommendation

6. identify, meet and befriend anyone who can help me in this quest (professors, administrators, current students, etc.)

7. become more financially solvent (pay off debts, etc.) so that I can afford to leave the corporate world (this might be the toughest item on the list)

I really like instant gratification, so waiting almost an entire year to even apply will be hard. I think I’ll try to track my progress on here so I at least feel like I’m on the right track.