always be close to my kids

Man. I know it’s normal kid stuff. But when my youngest daughter lies to me to “avoid” a hassle, it reminds me of her Dad. I so much more respect people who say it like it is and face the music. In fact I’ve tried to make a point not to yell and to point out that it takes good character to tell the truth when a lie would be easier. I also talk to her about how a lie degrades our relationship, which is really quite close.

With my income I consider it a minor miracle that we cover all the bases that other people take for granted. Like: Senior pictures, haircuts, clothes, an occasional trip to the mountains. I make enough for us to live as long as nothing breaks. All most all our clothes are second-hand but fairly stylish. We eat healthy and I found a bargain gym to belong to and my daughter is starting to get into a groove of using it. I’m very proud of us getting the quality of life that we have on such a tight budget. I should write a book.

And I don’t have anyone to really talk to about it. It’s weird when you are going through something huge and no one in your life would notice unless you brought it up. The milestone is the fact that the two people that I’ve been closest too and have been the driving force for me to get through everything are going off into their grown-up life. And I’m thrilled. Believe me, they are the coolest young ladies and I’m SO proud of them moving forward on to college. But I feel like I’m losing my family.

This summer we camped one night for my oldest daughter and I’m bringing my youngest to Red Rocks for a favorite concert. I try to meet their needs as best I can and am proud when I can bring something special in. My girls are the greatest gift to me. I’m so lucky to have them.

...yesterday for criticizing her Dad in her presence. It really hurts them and I try not to do it but the guy frustrates me horribly with his neglect of them and inconsiderateness generally. Still she has a right to love and enjoy her Dad in whatever way they can possibly make that happen and I support that. My girls are everything to me and I’d rather not harm them then go off on him.

Things I’m working on…
*Listen more talk less.
*They need money.
I mean for real life stuff not, excess. I will find a way to pony up the dough because I want them to feel secure in their living situation.

Even though it might now always work out, I’ve suggested to my youngest daughter that we do something together once a week. Maybe host a little dinner together, she invites a friend, I invite a friend. Simple things. She invited me to a lecture at her school a couple nights ago and I went and throughly enjoyed it. She may feel bugged by me and I understand but for short spells she is enjoying our time and I can live with that.

I’m only going away for a couple of days but I already miss my kids. I guess it’s because I’m so accutely aware that our time together is coming to a close because they are going to both be out of the house shortly. Still sometimes I need a break. And they need a break from me. So I will enjoy this short break and remember that they are probably happy as clams to have Mom out of the house for awhile.

A great Christmas just the three of us. Thoughtful presents given, received, time spent, cookies consumed, lots of hugs and kisses. Thanks God.

I told my daughter yesterday that I like driving her to school. We get so stressed some mornings that I forget that she probably thinks I think of it as some giant hassle. I don’t. One day she’ll be gone and I’ll be glad I held her hand sometimes in the car on the way to school.