Grow in my faith

is also something that goes along with “stop fibbing.” Growing in faith is a work of the soul, not the body. One can get active and lose weight so they don’t have a heart attack at 28, but when you grow in faith, what exactly is it that you have to do? For this, I have no idea what could be done. We haven’t been going to church regularly, but I don’t necessarily think that’s the solution to this problem. For now, I will mark this one complete. There will be times when my faith is questioned by myself, but I should be the only one questioning it. I live my life the best way I know how. I learn as I go and for the most part I depend on myself to follow through with things. I don’t always “Give it to God” because frankly, he gave us free will to see what we’ll do with it. He’s pretty hands off that way.

men’s group this week. I don’t know why… Well, yes, I do know why. The last time I spoke to anyone outside the group, the leader’s secretary called me to set up an appointment to have coffee. I’m not sure what this means. I know he’s a busy guy, but as we’re supposed to be “friends,” that seems a tad impersonal. I’m not faulting him for being busy. We all are. It’s just that this always happens to me. I went into this group excited at the prospect of becoming part of something that could strengthen my relationship with Christ and my wife. I have also done a lot to try and build the group up. I created an online message board that never gets used and feel left out of this as well. All this has done was show me that I don’t have a problem with porn and we have a very healthy relationship because we talk to one another. I’m writing this from spite, I know, but I can’t help it. The human in me trying to fight his way out.

For now, I’m in limbo. I am writing an article for the church newsletter about the group. I’ve submitted questions for their review and response, but so far only one has gotten back to me. It has been a week. We’ll see what happens.

want to wake up this morning for men’s group. When I got there, I felt a little better but I still didn’t want to be there. It really showed, too. I will just have to work harder at it! Since we could be moving back north, though, I will have to aim my efforts elsewhere. I have an article to write for the church newsletter and possibly finish this time. We’ll see where that takes me. I have no allusions about writing for them full time anymore. There’s just not a chance of that happening at this point.

got an email from one of the guys in my men’s group today. He was reminding us that the group will restart on 1/9. Here’s to getting back into the spirit of the Word! I have not been doing much praying lately. I really should. After all, we’re nearly destitute and with applying for jobs, I need all the praying I can get.