be thin

It’s always worse…I would sewing my fuck mouth…I would find the strength to stop eating…fuck fuck!!!!...I can’t see my body so…fat…oh my god I hate me and I cursed the day I started to eat again…I was so pretty…I was so damn thin…ok ok….I don’t want to weight 86 lbs yet, but last year I was 114.6…wonderful!!!...ok…now I’m 176…oh my god…I’m ashamed to write it only…I hate my body…but I can get my goal…now I would get 143.3…It will be a start, won’t it??I’m 5.77 tall…I could look nice…but my last goal is 121.2lbs….
WILL OUR HEROINE GET HER PERSONAL GOAL LIFE???...

help me please, lily

...today it’s raining day…uff!!
yesterday
b-none
L-white rice yogurt (180kcal)
D-the same and cherries (200kcal)

intake
380kcal

outtake
exercise 140kcal

tot kcal intake 240kcal more or less

Today
B-none
L-4 slices of rusks with 8 g of marmalade (oranges)(158.5kcal [136kcal for rusks and 22.5 for marmalade])

I don’t know what I’ll eat this evening…

I’m not clom on the scale…I fear of it!...I think I’ll clim on it mext…uhhhh…tuesday…ok!!

I feel a bit down…
kiss to everyone,
lily

I’m just gone back home…I worked til midnight and then I went to my bf…we’ve watched CSI…before going to him, I went to Mc donalds’ to take him cheesburger (3 of them)...
watch him while eating makes me feel good…and it happends every time I see someone while eating…in particular while eating fat food like those…

well…

today it’s been a better day…
I woke up late and so I coulnt do my exercise…but I ate very few…
B-none
L-a yogurt with chocolate and rice (188kcal)
D-one peach and cherries (about 79kcal)
before going back to work I drank a very little glass of liquorice vodka…it’s so good…and then it’s a natural laxative…I think it’s 66 kcal…I dont’ drink often…and when I drink I prefer beer!!!I like beer;)

so…this’s been my day…I hope tomorrow will be a better day…

see you soon, good night everyone, kiss lily

B- yogurt with rice and chocolate (188kcal)
L-none

Hi!...
It’s very very hot day…I went out home about 11.30 am
when I went back I do my exercise…stepping (on my stairs, 16 steps, so 1 time is 32step), I’ve done it for 10 times…so 160 steps
tomorrow morning I think I could wake me up early and go to walk…I don’t like running…but I walk fast…so I’ve calculate if I walk fast for 120 minutes I can burn til 676 kcals…if I do stepping for 15 min. I can burn til 157 kcals…wowww…it’s so great!!!
I feel very enthusiastic!!!
There’s a web site where you can calculate that waste energy

I translate for you some words…so if you read “peso” it means “weight” you must write yours…
“tempo” means time

“scegli uno sport” means choose a sport

“camminare” means walking
“aerobica” means aerobics
“ballo or danza” means dancing
“ciclismo” means cycling
“corsa” means running
“nuoto” means swimming
“pallavolo” means volleyball
...I’ve just written some of them, I think they are the most important then others

ah!!...in this site weight is measured in kg, I’ve calculated one pound is 2.2 kg so…if your weight is 120lbs in kg it’s about 54 kg…
I hope I’ve been of help for you,

see you soon, kiss lily

...I have to change…
first…absolutely losing 11 pounds for the end of
June…it’s possible…hard but possible

second…before going on holiday (departure booked on
August 8, so I’ve still 74 time days…and much
hope too;)
I have to lose 22.3 pounds (from now)...it’s
harder…but nothing is impossible!!!

third…getting more self-esteem

fourth…keepping my final Gw

fifth but not least (maybe it’s the first)...going to
live with my bf in my home and…if only I
could have a baby…I’ll be so happy…I could
think less about foods…scales…mmmh PERHAPS!

...Well I think positive about my first 3 things I’ve said..(and also about the fifth;)...cause I fed up to feel me so fat…and I don’t want to buy bigger clothes…I never do this!!!

B-integral cereals
L-white rice
D-I don’t know yet, but something light

guess I get it!

...as the girl on the right…
...she’s lost much weight…and now she’s a thin…if you really want, you’ll get it!

..i know….i’m failing…i’m down…but i can’t give up…never give up…=(

I just want a bit of self-esteem

I just want to be helped ….

i hate myself…i hate my fucking mouth…i want to do without eating….i hate meeeeeeeeee….i hate my body….fuck…that’s rotten!!fatfat!...lily’s fat!!!...fuck damn reality

yesterday

B- none
L- 1/2 yogurt and 1 apple (207.75 kcal)
D- vegetable soup (64 kcal)

Tot intake Tot outtake
271.75 241 (more or less)

today

B- 2 cup of balck coffee
L- a place of white rice with a low teaspoon of oil

this evening I must work ( I work in a cafè and this week my time is from 6 a.m. to 12 a.m)...
fortunately I bring my dinner from home…I think I’ll eat 1 light bar of cereals!!!
see you later…kiss lily