be happier

I imagine once I defend, that will make me happier. Very much happier.

However, I’m moving now (which I hate), and I still have to finish a few edits and an hour-long presentation on the work. That is not fun. Also, I’m never going to be sure until I go through some of the new job whether it will really improve a lot. There is hope, yes. But right now that’s all it is.

Still have to maintain health, musical ability, etc.

Well, it’s simple. I think if I felt more capable and less overwhelmed at work, that would help. I think if I could finish my paper edits, that would help.

I had an old goal to drink less during the week, and I think I’ll try that. Shouldn’t be hard since I was actually able to do that one. The others are a taller order.

I have some happy things in life (occasional music shows, girlpal, decent health, etc.), but the bad stuff outweighs the good too often.

I am always down on Sundays because I know a full week of work is coming. Girlpal and others always say that that’s why it’s called work and not “super happy fun time.”

I was chatting on Facebook with someone I went to high school with. She is just a little older than me, and just moved from teaching in a middle school to a high school. It’s in the same town as I teach in, but she’s in the public schools where the pay is likely better but the conditions are far worse. This is what she said:

“I finished my first full week, and I look forward to going to work every day.”

Amazing. I’m happy for her, but also envious. I’d say a large portion of her positive outlook is faith-based, judging by our conversations, but at least this is evidence that there are people out there who like their jobs everyday even if they’re not ideal.

I don’t know how much to accept the fact that work is not happy fun time and how much to strive for something else.

I tend to be happy on the weekends, but unhappy the rest of the time. I wish I could be happier during the week, no matter who I’m with or what I’m doing.

Not really. I have plenty to be happy about. It never seems to outweigh the other stuff. I need to learn to dwell on the better things.

despite a decent week getting school stuff done and an easy, productive round of conferences, I fail epically at this for now. thinking about stuff has become dangerous for me… when I get contemplative it is NEVER EVER positive. I guess I have to shut the brain off to work on this.

Because of a few things I won’t go into here, I am a whole lot sadder.

I guess if I do good things with this news, I might be able to turn things around. But life sucks today.

My Christmas break has been as excellent as it could be. It’s just that work starts again soon, and my happiness is usually inversely proportional to the amount of time I’m spending at work.

I should be grateful that I get more time off than most.

It’s hard this week. The time around finals (for most teachers) is the hardest time to be happy. I have things to be happy about, but overall things won’t improve until this is all over.

I had a good weekend. The happiness percentage for this weekend was much higher than usual. Of course, the weekly work grind begins anew starting today. Maybe some of the good will carry through.