Stop cutting

i left an entry about 7 months ago saying that I hadn’t cut and how much better it was…and now im sitting here with cuts down my arm and i can barely remember even doing it. Funny how an addiction can sometimes send your body into autodrive and take over your life…

I can never quite tell whether I’m actually getting better and healing myself around this time of the year. Sometimes I feel the only reason I don’t do it is because it’s so hard to hide when it’s close to 100 degrees outside and so I find other ways to replace the relief it brings until the colder weather sets in again…I hate that time of year just for the fact that it makes it so easy for me to just put on a long sleeve shirt or sweat band and not worry about it. I really hope its permanent this time…it’s been almost three months (right about when the weather started getting warm i guess) and my cuts are healed….but the scars are even worse this summer…I guess I won’t really know until the end of summer when it’s so easy to hide this addiction…

3 weeks and counting…