lose 20 pounds and keep it off

its official, i’m a fat loser. i have now got to the mindset of “i shouldn’t be out in public like this” i really need to get out of this funk before it puts a strain on my relationships. my boyfriend loves me, but he is probably going to get sick of me. i never want to go anywhere anymore, mostly because i dont look good in anything right now. i need to get my mind in the right place before i will ever reach (and keep) any of my goals. gotta stop beating myself up over the way i look.

i’m still holdin on to this fat! havent lost any since my last post 2 months ago. it’s depressing so that makes me want to eat. why is it so hard, and why do i care so much!

I was right. I weigh 155 now. Gained most of the weight I lost back, and 15 lbs over my goal. I truly feel disgusted when I get dressed in the morning. I know that’s bad, even at 155 I am not overweight (I am 5’7) but i just cant help it! I’ll try to stay more positive…. I am pretty sure that at least 3 lbs of that is muscle. I am still weight training and my arms look good at least. I ran on sunday and i paid the price for taking such a long “break” my legs have been sore for 2 days. I have to get back on track. Summer is almost here!(again)

i am really sucking at this right now. i am up to probably about 155. i am too scared to weigh myself but last time i did i was 152, which was 2 weeks ago and i have been being a pig lately. I have been stressed and having bad anxiety. the bad eating doesn’t help because it make me feel worse. i havent done any cardio in a couple weeks,i am still lifting weights though. been eating ok for about 3 days, looks like my goal is gonna take more time. it’s already been so long! i need to start eating clean, i recently read The Eat Clean Diet and I have been motivated again. I will eat good for a week and then weigh myself to see what my true weight is. hopefully it wont be as bad as i think. MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE GOAL: KEEP IT OFF!

I know it sounds scroogish but i am so glad. i finally just weighed myself after the holiday season last week. (i was too scared to do it sooner)final weigh in… 150. that sucks! I am now 10 pounds over my goal. i am starting to wonder this 10 pounds is worth all this work & worry. i am not overweight at 5’7, all i want is to lose some body fat and show off my guns, ha! no seriously though i havent stopped lifting weights at all during my Eat-off, but my cardio has suffered over the last couple months. Its cold here now and i really need to find something i enjoy. i miss hiking, so maybe snowshoeing.i have been eating pretty healthy for a couple weeks now and i feel so much better. so i guess i wont give up yet.

well my official weight after the “summer binge off” is 145. I gained 8 lbs over the summer. i believe this is an accurate # because I made sure to weigh myself first thing in the morning after a week of healthy eating. I didn’t keep under the 143 mark like i wanted to. Damn it! Well i guess it’s back to the drawing board, at least i am only 5 lbs over my initial goal weight of 140 so it shouldnt take that long to get back down. My real goal is to keep it off, and to me that means an entire year. summer included! Hopefully I can keep off the holiday lbs. as well. this extra weight should keep me motivated to exercise though. The good thing is I never really stopped exercising through the summer. Just too much booze and food!

I’ve been having a tough time over the last few weeks. i have actually gained a few. i am up to 142 which isn’t bad…..yet. Since my goal was 140 and i went down to 137 i have given myself a 5 lbs leeway. i don’t want to go over 143 or else i feel i havent kept the 20 lbs off. For most people its the winter time and holidays that they gain weight, not me. it’s this time of year. too many BBQ’s, birthdays and damn it, beer tastes sooo good right now! This is my main problem. boozin it up. Although i have cut down on the drinking i still find myself having a couple each night over the last 2 weeks or so.I don’t know how to stop

I am down to 137 which is 3 lbs. less than my goal, yeah! I have been keeping this steady weight for about 3 months now. I find myself somewhat obsessing about my weight so I have changed my weight loss goals into fitness goals. I am 5’7 and probably shouldn’t lose much more, if any, weight. I took all the clothes that are to small for me and put them in a pile. I have given myself one more month, if i cannot comfortably fit in them they are gone! i feel that having clothes too small makes me want to lose more weight. I want to be healthy not have an eating disorder. When I originally lost 80lbs after i was pregnant, i was down to 134. Looking back now i think i was on the verge of one (eating disorder). I think this time I have actually made a solid lifestyle change. we’ll see if i can make it through the year.

well Ive reached my goal weight finally! the problem is that i have been feeling incredibly hungry lately. i am trying to figure out what is triggering this. i think it is the anxiety i have been feeling lately.I am trying to learn other ways to deal with it besides filling my snack hole. i had a little 2 day binge eating episode this week. I am pretty sure my anxiety is caused by PMS but i do not know how to stop. i could exercise when i get the urge but it is usually happens at night. i havent weighed myself since the binge eat and dont think i should due to i may have gained a pound or 2 and dont want to get depressed. this is the hardest part! keeping the weight off! i need to learn to control my mind because its not my body telling me to eat.

i didn’t reach my goal by my birthday like i wanted to. i stayed consistantly at 150 until Thanksgiving, by christmas i gained 10lbs! Then the day after Christmas i decided i had enough. I started my healthy eating again and New years I quit drinking. I have had 1 beer over the last 3 months. I also started marking the days i work out on a calander to track myself. I have finally lost a total of 16lbs. i am now 144, which i have not been under 148 in over 3 years! I have been cutting carbs to about 150-175g a day and been eating at least 120g of protein too. i now eat small meals every few hours and no longer binge eat at night because of it. i am so excited i only have 4 more pounds before i reach my goal weight, but my real goal is to keep it off. i think that if i can keep it off for a whole year i will add this to my list of things accomplished.