WELL I HAVE BEEN DOING THIS LATELY BUT IT STILL HURTS SO BAD. THE PEOPLE THAT I AM HAVING TO LET GO ARE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT. ITS NOT JUST AQUAINTENCES CAUSE THAT WOULDN’T BE HARD AT ALL.I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING CRAZY AND THAT I AM LOOSING PARTS OF MY HEART EVERY TIME I DO THIS. I WAS CRYING SO BAD TONIGHT CAUSE I MISS ALL THE PEOPLE I LET GO. YEAH THEY ARE BAD FOR ME BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE THEM. ITS JUST SO HARD. IN THE END I KNOW THINGS WILL BE BETTER. BUT FOR RIGHT NOW ITS HARD. I FEEL SO SAD ALMOST SUICIDAL CAUSE I FEEL HOPELESS AND ALONE. NOW I WOULD NEVER ACTUALLY KILL MYSELF CAUSE THATS JUST NOT ME, BUT DEATH ALMOST SEEMS EASIER THEN GOING THROUGH WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW. I ALREADY HAD ONLY A FEW FRIENDS ALMOST NONE. AND NOW I GOT 5 LESS. AND COUNTING. SINCE THERE IS STILL MORE TO GO. IN THE END I AM GOING TO HAVE LIKE 2 FRIENDS AND JUST AQUAINTENCES AFTER THIS IS OVER. I’M GONNA HAVE TO START FROM THE BOTTOM UP AGAIN. I’M SO TORN UP OVER THIS RIGHT NOW ITS DRIVING ME CRAZY. I COULDN’T EVEN GET THE FRIENDS THAT I LET GO BACK..EVEN IF I WANTED TO..THEY WONT TALK TO ME NOW.MAYBE ONE OR TWO OF THEM WOULD BUT STILL I CANT GO BACK I NEED TO LOOK FORWARD BUT MY HEART IS BEING TORN TO SHREDS WHILE I DO THIS.UGH I WISH THIS COULD BE SIMPLE..ANYONE GOT ADVICE CAUSE IDK WHAT TO DO ANYMORE :(
lisheybear has written 2 entries about this goal
I GOT SO MANY NEGATIVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE..IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY..I DONT KNOW WHERE I FIND THESE PEOPLE OR WHY THEY ARE SO MEAN TO ME..OR JUST STRAIGHT UP NEGATIVE BUT FOR SOME REASON I SEEM TO ATTRACT PEOPLE LIKE THIS..MAYBE THATS BECAUSE IT IS HOW I AM..I WANT TO BE HAPPY..NOT DEPRESSED..I WANT TO SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL NOT FOCUS ON THE DARK..BUT IT IS HARD TO HAVE A GOOD ATTITUDE ABOUT THINGS WHEN ALL U HEAR IS THE NEGATIVE…I REALLY NEED TO GET RID OF THESE PEOPLE BUT I AM SCARED THAT ONCE I DO I AM NOT GONNA HAVE ANYONE BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE I TALK TO HAS SOME KIND OF NEGATIVITY AND THEY MAKE ME THINK THE SAME WAY…AND HOW DO I CHOOSE WHO TO PICK TO STOP TALKING TO AND WHO TO KEEP TALKING TO..THIS IS COMPLICATED BUT I KNOW I WANT TO DO IT..I CAN THINK OF ONE PERSON IN PARTICULAR THAT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY GOOD..AND THEN CAN TOTALLY RUIN MY WHOLE DAY WITH A FEW WORDS…NOW ONE MINUTE HE ACTS LIKE I AM SUCH A GOOD FRIEND THEN NEXT HE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW HE REGRETS EVER MEETING ME..HE IS SO CONFUSING AND NEGATIVE..I THINK HE HAS GOT TO GO..BUT IT IS HARD TO STOP TALKING TO HIM CUZ I REALLY LIKE HIM…BUT HIS NEGATIVITY IS WHAT MAKES ME HATE THE WAY HE ACTS…IDK WHAT TO DO..BUT I THINK HE HAS G2G.
