not give in to depression

yes, after more than a decade, i’m off anti depressants. it’s been about 5 or 6 months, and it’s so great.

i had accupuncture to help, but a sponsor and a therapist.. well, that makes it much easier to.
just remembering I”M NOT ALONE through all of this is helping so much.

got to get rid of those old childhood ideas and you know what, it makes a huge difference.

: )

but on the whole I’m feeling much better.

There is a lot of stuff that I’m just starting to face about my life and childhood and today.. but I’m getting moments of pure peace and gee, that is a great feeling.

hope yr all surviving the silly season friends x

to stop drinking. i drink to stop being in my head. but obviously alcohol is a depressant and makes everything worse.

i still have bad days and even HORRIBLE days, but i’m finding that they pass. I might have depression everywhere but it’s a strengthening feeling to sit in it without blotting it out with alcohol.

hmmm i wish everyone the best with this goal and I’m sending BIG hugs out yr way. xx

to eradicate certain things in my life that i thought were helping me cope.. but in effect were making things worse.

You know, I might always have a depressed personality but i am going to work work and work at it to keep smiling when I can, and truly enjoy those moments.

My moods change day in and day out.. minute to minute. It’s hard but it’s a daily thing. I’ll keep going through it!

i went on this particular anti depressant a few years back because it helped with anxiety as well as depression.

the drugs clearly aren’t working anymore and i’m getting regular panic attacks.

However, i’m working on a LOT of things right now and feel confident I will get through this.

i drink because i’m depressed, and then i get depressed and anxious because i drink.
I tell you – i hate being inside my head.

but i’m doing regular acupuncture, have another neuro session this week, and doing more yoga, and drinking less.

It’s a hard time being me right now, but I will work through it. one day at a time.

i can tell i’m not good when i have all these plans and ideas and things to do.. and still can’t be motivated to do them.

we’ll see how the rest of the day pans out. x

so i had the counsellor this week and realise why i drink and exactly certain things i’m trying to avoid in my life.

and you know, i get it. but it didnt’ stop me from getting too drunk friday night and then just screaming screaming screaming about the things that i was angry about. (don’t worry, i was home alone.. it was a good release).

but i’m still confused, not sure how to move forward.

well.. obviously i just need to work through this.. not drink through it.

yoga this week for me. maybe even this arvo. x

but i went back to my most fabulous therapist today. she is a good hours drive away from home and work but she is so worth it. i have a smile on my face, and in my heart.

today, all is ok. x

to have a normal conversation with my mother?
IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK??!!!

argh!
no wonder i’m so f&cked up.
;(