forgive myself

i think i have forgiven myself for the wrong that has happened in my relationship with “him”..i think i finally love MYSELF MORE then I love him. i now put myself first…which is what needed to happen in our painful ending. he seems to be fine and i am crying nightly. i hate this kind of pain. but i also have to reflect on what was my part in all this?

FORGIVENESS OFFERS EVERYTHING I WANT!

I have been being a lot kinder to myself…taking better care of ME lately and it feels good. I join a gym 3 weeks ago and have been going regularly…then i joined my first bootcamp on monday for 4 weeks. 3 days a week from 7z;30am – 8:30 am…its been a great work out. I am feeling better and certainly lookin better. I want this to be the last time i lose this weight!

i keep reading i keep reading and i keep reading about how to forgive myself. i think it is working a bit….i seem to be taking better care of myself and that feels good.

When you have guilt, you reinforce the feelings of being not okay. You lose your confidence and self-respect. You feel undeserving and you hold yourself back.

The key to releasing guilt is to recognize that we all go through life doing the very best we can with the extremely limited skills and awareness that we have at the time.

Unfortunately, the awareness that we have is seldom enough. As a result we make mistakes. Sometimes we make big ones.

Making mistakes is part of the human process. This is how we learn. Every time you make a mistake you learn a little more about life. You then become wiser and more aware.

Five years from now you will be much wiser than you are today, but the wisdom you will have five years from now doesn’t do you any good today. This is true because today, you don’t have it.

Likewise the wisdom that you have today didn’t do you any good back when you made your mistake. This is true because back then, you didn’t know what you know today. You only knew what you knew.

To see this in your life, go back in time to the moment you made your mistake. Notice that at the time, you had a very particular state of mind and a very particular way of seeing life. Notice that you acted totally consistent with where you were at the moment.

If you knew then what you know today, you could have acted very differently, but you didn’t. Even if you thought you knew better, you didn’t know the consequences like you do today.

So here is the big question: Are you willing to forgive yourself for not knowing? Are you willing to forgive yourself for not being wiser and more aware? You might as well. If you look, you did the very best you could with where you were at the time.

Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for not being wiser and more aware. Forgive yourself for acting consistent with your limited awareness and forgive yourself for the damage that you caused as a result of your not knowing.

Allow yourself to be human.

Notice that this person is doing the very best he or she can with his or her very limited ability. Notice how much this person suffers as a result of his or her limited equipment.

Now ask yourself, Are you willing to forgive this person for not being wiser and more aware? Are you willing to forgive this person for acting consistent with his or her limited ability? Are you willing for forgive this person for the damage that was caused?

Remember that forgiveness is for you, not the other person. Forgiveness is a choice. Let go of your resentment and get on with your life.

Everyday i seem to get closer and closer to this goal.

This is the hardest of all. We are all so tough on ourselves…but i know in order to move on with my life i need to first forgive myself…forgive myself for past mistakes that i cant change..but i can learn and grow from them. i wish i could change them…particularly the pain I am going through right now is totally because of a mistkae i made with someone i love dearly. i dont think i woke up earlier enough..by the time i did his feelings for me changed. we are now seperated for a few months. i dont have much hope that things will work out for us. i think he has already made up his mind. i get so angry with myself…but i think i have finally learned you can not controll others..only yourself. I just happen to not hate myself right now. i wish i could fast forward my life and stop hurting so bad.