I spend tons of time with my son and my partner doing fun things. This week we went to the movies and out for dessert, we read together at home each night, and will play card games together. But my partner and son have many things they do together just the two of them. My partner is better at spontaneous active play (running around the house/wrestling with him) and playing video games. I am honestly just not very interested in those types of play—although my son loves it. Rather than get involved, I kind of let my partner take over play and I end up doing something else around the house. I know that our son is having fun and getting good attention, but I do feel sad that it is predominantly from my partner.
Not only do I just want more quality time with my son, it will also become more necessary when this fall my partner goes back to school. I need to find more activities that he and I can do together without his dad. I have all these grand ideas about projects we could do together—outings he and I would enjoy, but the reality is that I rarely make them happen. I think I either need to set aside some really intentional time to make those bigger plans happen or think of smaller things we can do together (that take little preparation/effort on days that I’m tired from work, etc).
Perhaps I can take this week (which is the 1st one all summer not booked with plans with friends) to spend a really intentional 1/2 hour everyday doing something just me and him, where I am not multitasking or distracted by other to-dos. I know it doesn’t sound like much. I will be of course spending more time with him than just a 1/2 hour, but I think being really intentional about setting aside mommy/son time will be a good step towards us developing more of our own fun things to do just me and him.
livingwithintention has written 5 entries about this goal
The other week, we went over to a new neighbors house and had a playdate with her daughter. This was really fun. I enjoy opportunities to meet other moms and chances for D and I to go do some fun things without dad, so this was a good time. I hope to do more playdates soon!
Last weekend we went camping as a family and it was such a joy to watch our little guy experience “camping stuff” for the first time. He loved every second of it and it felt great to get out in nature as a family and really enjoy each others company without the distraction of tvs/internet, etc. I hope to increase our time spent outside so that we can better connect when we are spending time together.
Had a nice mommy/kid sunday last week. The dynamic is different when it’s just the 2 of us, I kind of like it. Need to schedule more of these days. Last night we had a fun fireworks night. I wish I would have made more of a push for us to do something fun during the day. Sometimes our weekends turn into too much lazing around the house. Over the next week we have a lot of company, but I’m trying to set up a playdate with some neighbors and me and D.
Today, I am sending my partner off with his friend to have mommy/kid day. We already went shopping together and plan to play, picnic and make cookies. I hope we can schedule more of these intentional 1-on-1 times!
I just reacently graduated from grad school and am taking some time to reconnect with myself and my son before jumping into the work world. I’ve been doing so much with school these past few years that my 4 year old has had much more daddy time than time with me. I love that they are so close, but I want to further develop our relationship too. He goes to preschool in the afternoons while I’m at work, but I am now staying home in the mornings. Some mornings I am really good about turning off the tv and closing my computer and really playing with him all morning long, but other days I find myself trying to multitask while I watch him—often spending too much time on the internet or cleaning. I love him so much and really enjoy spending time with him, I have just been so used to juggling so much with home, school and work that now that I am home so much I feel drawn to accomplish a thousand things at once.
What I really want to do is spend my mornings solely focused on my son and being really present in the moment (not thinking about all the other stuff I could be working on). It sounds so simple and I am so motivated to do it, but I’ve been surprised at how hard it is for me.
