Sometimes the rock climbing crags haunt me like a scorned lover. I want to tell him that I love him and convince him that my love for him is true and there is no other.
I want to hold him and touch him in all the right places, but all he tells me is that I can’t touch him today here, there, or anywhere. He won’t let me hold on to him and my grasp slowly slips away.
As I fall and reach out one more time to try to hold on, he stands there silently and watches me as my girlfriends catch me from below. I cry in frustration and wonder how he can break my heart so quickly. What have I done wrong? Where did I go wrong? How could he let me fall? Should I try one more time? Is this worth pursuing? Is this it? Is this the end?
The most awful part is that he can be so beautiful and mesmerizing in the distance and all I want is him. I can think about no other. I chase him like a relentless animal in heat.
No, today I won’t obsesss about you. Today, I promise myself I won’t think about you or look at you. I am not calling you. Ever. Really. I’m working today. I’m being responsible today. I won’t even dare think about holding you. I won’t think about the great joy you give me.
Ah, but I still try and pursue and try and try…again and again, obsessed by love and passion….
I can’t wait to rock climb again.
