get fit

It’s been about 3 months since I started working out with my trainer. I think I could work harder, but it’s also been hard to manage my time since I’m hardly ever home. Other things that are important to me have fallen behind – like cleaning. Also my dog is alone all day and that is not good for him. It makes me feel so bad.

The good news is that I SEE A DIFFERENCE! A big difference! I’ve lost some weight and I’ve put on muscle. I finally see changes in my body that lead me to believe that I can get over the hump. Before, I felt that put in so many hours of hard work for minimum change, but I’ve kept at it and my body is responding.

I guess I have a long way to go but maybe I CAN get there. I touch my arms and legs and they feel so different and I’m starting to see new “bumps”. Muscle looks good!! I want more or it, plus I feel stronger.

I can’t believe that I’m going to get to the end of the year with a real positive change in my body :)

The bad part is that I’ve realized that it’s very hard for me to to do this all by myself. Having a trainer makes a BIG difference. I wouldn’t push myself as hard and I couldn’t do half the exercises without his help. You need a spotter to make the most of it.

Still, I’m very excited! I’m changing my body and that is a great thing :)

I want to be FIT by May… not sort of fit, but bikini ready, no shame, free feeling FIT!!

I’m going to have to figure out how to do this by myself ‘cause who knows how long I can afford a trainer, but I NEED to make this happen.

1) I stood in front of the TV – I stretched.

My goal was just to stand in front of the TV, and I did a simple stretch and it felt good. Didn’t lose any pounds but I realized I have to fight my mind first, so to begin, I’m going to stand in front of the TV, any time I can, and if I don’t do it all day, I’ll do it before I go to bed (like I used to when I was younger).

Day one!

10 mins

I moved for 10 min. I did:
10 min solution carb burner – metabolism booster (a fast wight lifting cardio segment).
Can’t do more than 10 but I did it!
This is the first of a series I’m hoping to do.

Day 1 (of 10 min – week one)

Schedule: do 10 mins every day for 2 weeks. After that I move to 20 mins. So, I’m going to count 14, 10 min. workouts and then I’m moving to 20 min and so.

So, I don’t have a scale and I have no clue how much I weigh but my face looks thinner and I know I lost some weight with my last cold/flu. I’m going to keep it this way.

Today I have to do 10 min of something!

10 minutes of thighs. Did it! Didn’t really like it… and at the same time it felt good because I had some hope that I could get good at this. If this just wasn’t such a slow process. But 10 min I can do, and if times goes by anyway, these 10 min every day must help somehow – even if it is just to get me into the habit.

Yey for me :)!

Here they are:

To be a…

-Size 4 again (currently a 5/6)
-To touch my toes again.
-To do the bridge (a full back bend)
-To lower my cholesterol
-To have a flat stomach
-To look good from behind
-Have more energy (be AWAKE and focused during the day)

And…TO WEAR A BATHING SUIT AGAIN!!!

I just saw Maria, she came to the office. She looks so happy. Who knows if she is, but she walks in such a carefree way that makes me envious. She is sweet and young, with a beautiful face… and FIT. I can’t help but remember when I was young and carefree too, and I felt I had so much time to live. She was wearing a ponytail, like I used to, and you could see she was full of energy, ready to go out and enjoy a sunny California day. I was envious because that used to be me. I wanted to join her and go for a walk with her. I felt I was looking at my life except now it was hers. She was “little me”.

I know for a fact that if I start working out again I can be just as fit again. Not overmuscly, but lean and fit. I’m not even that far off. I’m still considered petit. I just need to loose 6 or 7 pounds (mostly from my mid section), and gain some muscle.

Not only I can probably look much healthier – and wear all the things I want – I know I will feel better too. I remember a time when I used to workout constantly (maybe overdoing it sometimes) and what started happening was that I became more focused and stopped being as scatterbrained as I used to. I know this because I remember meeting a girl who seemed to have her head in the clouds and just couldn’t focus. I actually felt sorry for her because I could see my own struggles in her. She was a lost cause, I thought. I believed I had outgrown that phase in my life and had matured. It was my college self vs. my high school self (so I thought).

It turns out that I eventually stopped working out and I went back to my foggy old ways. I went back to feeling that heaviness in my body… and spirit. As I look back, I can only conclude that it was the exercise. I probably have always been the same person but my mind and body feel too heavy and sleepy most of the time.

The hard part is finding the time and the ENERGY to accomplish this. It’s not really a “just do it” thing. It’s more of a “either clean your home, pay bills or workout” kind of thing. I also have to schedule a meal and a shower with it. I’m so tired after I come home from work, AND HUNGRY. If I eat then I can’t workout right away and working out in the morning is out of the question since I can barely sleep enough hours before I have to get up for work.

I do have to think about the possibilities I do have, and what I can do is start with 10 min workouts. I feel the pressure already! I think I can start that way and go from there. If I can establish a routine, I know my body will start to get used to it and actually need it.

Maria won’t be the only one enjoying the sun. I have to be able to too!

I went for my 2nd walk today, and I worked out with a video tape for 15 minutes. This was challenging for me. I still don’t look forward to doing it, but I think the pain of not changing my life is worse, so I’m deciding to endure this one instead.

My plan is to walk and run for 1 extra block everyday (at the very least 4 to 5 days a week). If I run for 1 extra block everyday, I think I can conquer this fear I have of getting exhausted. Here we go, I’m trying once again.

I already have dropped some of the weight – it has taken me too long though (like 1 1/2 year to drop 10 pounds). I must be getting older. And that included time in Jenny Craig and a 10 day diet with a 1.5 day fast – not to mention sick time. Overall I think I live on a permanent diet.

So now I have 7 more pounds to go, but if I lift weights, the pounds might not show in the scale. So I’m hoping for 7 pounds of fat and/or a dress size 4. That should do it.

This is so hard for me because I feel so week, but I’m going to try to do it imperfectly, so I don’t give up. I’ll do something, instead of doing it perfectly and I’ll consider that a success.

I read something today about ambition and patience being the perfect pair. So I’ll keep that patience part in mind instead of the result part, and maybe that will help me stick with it.

Next, after the walking/running thing becomes part of my life, I want to go back to the gym. Bally is getting rich at my expense, so I better lose the fear, find the time and use it! Or, find the $ and the space and workout at home with a home gym. I think the 1st option will work faster.