control my tongue

I say the wrong thing over and over again. Why????? I do the wrong thing over and over again.

I’m complaining too much about this girl at work. I have to stop doing that. I have to let go.

I notice it more every day. I still choose to speak the words I shouldn’t. Especially, I notice it at my new job. I know I shouldn’t say certain things. I know they are not good for me. I say them anyway. Still, the fact that I recognize them so clearly, I think is progress.

I’m doing better on this. I catch myself thinking before speaking, but now I HAVE to do more than think, I actually have to stop myself BEFORE I get involved in the conversation. I have to think, count to 5, think it’s not worth it, and then let it go. I have to understand that proving my point and explaining myself doesn’t really accomplish ANYTHING. If someone is interested, they’ll ask. This is part of my trying to help/control others. I want to help people so bad, but trying can make you miserable. I need to give them freedom, or more like I need to free myself from this responsibility. I should build and equip myself better, I should spend time doing that without feeling selfish, and then , when I’m needed, I can truly help. That might be more empowering at the end.