learn to prioritize

It’s not so much anymore that I don’t know what I should do first as much as the fact that I am so tired that I choose to sleep or relax first. Then, I become overwhelmed about not finishing the things I’m supposed to do and that makes me want to sleep some more – yet, I don’t get as much sleep as I should. That should be my first clue right there, to sleep enough and see if that will give me the energy to do the things I have to do when I’m awake.

I have a feeling it’s going to take more than that. I’m sure I need to really exercise. It’s so hard to start. Why don’t I just do it? (Cause I’m not Nike, that’s why.) I used to love it, now I think I hate it. I feel too old for how old I really am. I’m too small to feel this heavy. I think I’m 106 pounds, yet I know I’m really out of shape.

Sleep and exercise and water – which I don’t drink either. Maybe that should be my priority, but who will do the laundry, clean the apartment and pay the bills?

Uhhhhh…

I just read my entries and they are all over the place. I complain about the same things. I don’t think I’ve made any progress, so I am now calling this goal “learn to prioritize”. Following through is a completely different thing.

Things that help me with this are:
-letting go of little things – LET GO!!!
-not be such a perfectionist – do them even if they are not well done (such a hard thing to even conceive).

I learned from a book a while back to figure out which ones were my priorities. I’ve gotten better at doing this, but not at following through. I find myself doing a lot of “emergency” fixing still. I don’t know how to fix that. If I take care of one, then the other ones accumulate. I have let go already of many “projects”, but like today, I spent ALL day researching vitamins. I have to stop being a perfectionist. That should be a goal.

I need to have less lists and stop categorizing them. I have so many different ones (work, home, personal, health, financial…) , they all have a priority.

I wish I could learn to prioritize.

I’m still so excited about my success this morning. I know it was only one day and it has to turn into a habit, but even though “not sleeping during the day” is not the most important thing on my list, it can definitely help and facilitate the completion of my other goals. Since my #1 goal was to prioritize, then what better than putting “waking up” at the beginning.

I’ trying to do this. By trying I realize that I’m not good at it and I notice how many times I fall short. Now, because of my “new” problems (they are really old and I’ve created them by procrastinating), I HAVE to get good at this and fast. But things are getting checked out on my list, and I’m trying to focus on the progress, otherwise I can get sick from stress.

Well, I was trying to do ONE thing on my list, but only from my THINGS PENDING list. That meant that I had to accomplish everything in my list for TODAY and ONE thing from my PENDING list. I could barely do the things in my TODAY list so I kept adding to my PENDING one.

That wasn’t working at all. Then I tried to divide into sections my TODAY list and do ONE of each (ie. work, home, errands). I thought, if I can do one thing from each (one errand, one thing at home…) it might work. Nope! Still the long list. It seems like everything is an emergency and I end up picking and choosing and doing a lot of them half way.

Well, I’ve opted for writing everything together on one list, then putting an A next to the EMERGENCY of EMERGENCIES items. The stuff that if I don’t do I’ll be in so much trouble that scares me. Then, I’m ONLY doing those in the best order I can manage. Well… it’s working!

The key is to NOT WORRY ABOUT WHAT DIDN’T GET DONE. Since I accomplished the most important task of the day. The rest has to wait and I can live with it since it’s my fault that it’s behind. It’s almost like teaching myself how long things do take and also how to be REALISTIC. I tend to think that all should be done today and that, if I don’t do it, I’m a horrible person. I end up overwhelmed and trying to do everything and not really doing anything.

This is helping me see my limitations and I feel more centered. I think I’m leaning to prioritize! I hope I can keep this up. For now, it seems like other things are falling behind while I take care of the emergency stuff (like the dishes, dusting, and other paperwork etc.), BUT I’m not going to let that scare me. I know as I finish each mountain of “behind stuff” I’ll have more daily time to do the everyday tasks. I’m not going to die if I leave my dishes there or if I don’t do some paperwork I’d like to get out of the way, but I will get in trouble if I don’t pay my bills!!

So, by looking at my dirty dishes in the sink I actually feel good thinking: They are there because I’ve been working on more important things. I know that when I get to them it will mean that I’m catching up with my life. I’ve realized that I can easily fill my day with daily chores and end up with no time to work on my business affairs, therefore getting myself under uncontrollable stress and sick!

I guess at the end of this new system I got myself into, I’ll realize if I have time to cook and do dishes or if I’m going to have to rethink my menu, or start getting more take out – not my preference but not as important as having my life in order.

I really hope This works!!

This is my new #1 goal. I’m assuming that if I make this my top priority, the rest of my goals might have a better chance at succeeding.

I’ve realized and accepted that I have a lot of trouble doing this. More than knowing what’s important, I think I need to just do it and follow through. So by learning to prioritize I mean learning to BELIEVE that something does have priority – which somewhere in my brain I guess it doesn’t (otherwise I wouldn’t procrastinate so much).

I need to really NARROW THINGS DOWN and do ABC. That’s part of the problem. I always feel like EVERYTHING is an A. I need to check that book again (How to take control of your time and your life). It’s an excellent little book. Now I just need to APPLY what I learn!

That should be another goal. APPLY!!! Too much knowledge and lots of fruitless actions – I think. I really need to get better at managing my life – how can I not be good at this? This also seems like a #1 goal. But no, prioritize, break down things into steps and FOLLOW THROUGH – Most important of all.

Why is all of this painful. How in the world will I get to enjoy these things? I don’t want to take care of my life and be miserable, and also don’t want to not take care of my life and be miserable. I think I have a better shot with the first option :)