Stop caring what other people think of me

I am quite shocked, if I may say so myself. I have always been this super-sensitive person, putting too much thought, effort and feelings into most areas (and persons) in my life. But lately, both in a negative and positive way, I have started to give a damn. I am seeing things from another perspective, always comparing things with the big picture.

The positive side about this is that I don’t waste energy over things I cannot change. I accept much more quickly, and then move on. I also tend not to take things as personally as I used to. I don’t let one single person’s opinion affect me anymore, neither do I care as much about pleasing everyone so that everyone will like me. An impossible task by the way! :p

But then, there is a negative side about it; I’m not as easily amused as before. I don’t get happy over the small things in life as often as I did. I guess that’s a price I have to pay. But I’ll keep working to get this back though, without inviting all the unnecesarry worries, overanalyzing and moodswings back into my life.

“The ‘how’ thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile ‘ifs’.”

~Norman Vincent Peale

“Style is knowing who you are, what you want to say, and not giving a damn.”
- Gore Vidal

Not excacly helping myself by getting drunk and doing all the things you shouldn’t do.

There are these two girls in my class I can’t stand, and I have no idea why. Somehow I feal threathened by them, and I get the feeling they don’t like me either. Maybe that’s what triggered the feeling in the first place. I have hard to accept that I can’t be liked by everyone. A lots of people like me, and if everyone were to like me, it would be because I didn’t step on any toes with my opinions etc. And I have a personality, I know what I want, and I know how to get it. Those two are people I normally wouldn’t choose to be with outside of school, but we are simply forced to work together as a group in several projects. The reason I’ve started bumping into them elsewhere, is that they’ve gotten to know some of my friends (who are in desperate need of more friends). (Jesus, I sound like a teenager. This is like going back in time)

Anyway, I could always talk bad about them behind their back to my friends, but on the other hand I have to think about what’s going to happen at school then. I want so bad to take the highroad and just get along with them, without having to be friends. But it’s hard, it’s like this bad energy develops whenever we’re around eachother.

I am going to a party where they’ll be tomorrow, and I’m not sure how to take on the situation… Adwice are welcome:)

Note to self: I am not the center of the universe. I have to start paying more attention to others, and less on myself. There must be a ton of things I am missing because I’m so wrapped up in how I act around other people. I hate being so self-conchous! How can I create healthy relationships with others if all I do is worry about myself whenever around them? And how can I love others if I don’t love myself?

In addition to this, I have to care less about what I think about myself. I have so negative self image that it’s a wonder I’m even alive.

Having this goal here really helps. I need to be reminded often, which I am due to spending too much time here. So whenever I find myself thinking “I can’t do this, what would people say?”, I just go ahead and do it (within reason of course). I try to do all the things I would have done if I was alone or no one would know. Like joining weird groups in facebook, stating my opinions even if I know some of my friends have the total opposite, wear whatever I want because I like it and that’s all that matters. The list is endless, but I feel I’m doing huge progress:)

I don’t feel that I care about what people think about my actions, opinions, and so on, that much. My problem is the present, how people interpret how I act around them, how I say things, my body language ect. Especially strangers, but also family and friends sometimes. It’s so devastating! I just want to be able to relax and be myself.

holy frack! I had no idea I really cared as much as I do. I was out running earlier today, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I met people, I became totally self-conscious. About how I run, how my hair looked, my clothes. This can’t go on… But now that I’m aware of it, I think it’ll be easier to work with.