Go cow tipping

I am a cattle farmer, and I hate bursting your bubble, but cow tipping is a myth perpetrated by city people with very little knowledge of cattle, and egged on by some rural people who think it is hilarious that city people would actually believe it. First, cows sleep lying down, NOT standing up. Second, cows weigh anywhere from 800 to 1600 POUNDS, with a fairly low center of gravity, so even if you were to sneak up on one (very unlikely…cattle are a prey species and thus are very alert to the presence of intruders) not only would you NEVER be able to get enough leverage to knock it over, it would trample you and your drunken buddies before you knew what was happening. If you should happen to make the mistake of trying to tip a bull,(most people cant tell the difference…here is a hint: large scrota) be warned that there may not be much left for the funeral home to work with after the bull gets through stomping and tossing your lifeless corpse all over the pasture.