stop pretending that I don't *really* smoke and just actually stop smoking

Well the first night out drinking with no smokes was a disaster. Having even just a single friend near me with a cigarette made it pretty much impossible. I ended up bumming them off her all night, so then I went and got some of the nicotine gum. It helped me stop being a hardcore smoker and it is helping me kick this “social” smoking habit too. I just hope one day I can manage having alcohol in my blood without also needing some kind of nicotine (I didn’t start drinking until after I had started smoking, so I’ve always had the two combined!)

the carton of cigarettes i’ve had in my closet for the past 8 months has just yielded its last cancer stick. no more smoking while i drink. this is gonna suck.