random

Ground floor opportunity
Lousy job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year
Progressive company
Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday
Team player
Must deal with dangerously territorial coworkers with rabid
personalities.
Upbeat personalities
Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug
alcohol rehab benefit within the first year
Word processing skills essential
There is a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future
Public Relations Receptionist, Professional appearance important
$20 K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe
Salary range $24K to $32K
The salary is $24K
Will train
Prior conviction of a felony or two, no problem
BA required, MA preferred
Must be a MA willing to work for a BA salary
Civil service
This job was filled from the inside six months ago
Outstanding benefits package
Health insurance
Tons of variety
We took all of the heinous tasks no one else would do and rolled them
into one job
Top notch communication skills
Telemarketing
Beautiful offices in attractive locale
Brand new tacky windowless office where picture frames match the
carpet
Secretary
Woman only job with the responsibilities of management and the wages
of a migrant worker
Executive secretary
The most powerful position in any company
Dedicated
You’re looking at a minimum of 80 hours a week until we force you
into early retirement
Salary commensurate
We’ll pay you whatever the we feel like
Salary negotiable
We’ll take the lowest bidder
Competitive salary
we’ll pay you up to 10 percent more than your last job!
Competitive starting salary
Ten cents above minimum wage
Pleasant atmosphere
A staff of pod people
Professional atmosphere
Zombie pod people with no sense of humor.
Self-starter
Open to very broad interpretation, since no one really knows what
this means

Mark Twain said that. this is all the quotes that I got sent as quote of the day to my email this week. I’m bummed about my union meeting today and all of these quotes are quite good and seem to peratin to either the union, our bosses or work in general. That’s random as a random thing.

For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
—Doug Larson

Managing is getting paid for home runs someone else runs.
—Casey Stengel

Life is often compared to a marathon, but I think it is more like being a sprinter; long stretches of hard work punctuated by brief moments in which we are given the opportunity to perform at our best.
—Michael Johnson

I am only one, but still I am one I cannot do everything but still I can do something I will not refuse to do the something I can do.
—Helen Adams Keller

The most instructive experiences are those of everyday life.
—Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

from a friend that although ninty percent of the city was shut down yesterday due to Jesus escaping from his cave and all, brothels were allowed to be open. On like the holiest day in chrisendom you can still enagage in the oldest profession. I now like this left-leaning liberal government a little more for giving those of us who don’t buy into the myth and are desprate like my mate something to do on the holiest day.

“What he did not know then is that it is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.”

“Let it be said that one of the first symptoms of psychosis is that the person feels perhaps he is becoming psychotic. It is another Chinese fingertrap. You cannot think about it without becoming part of it.”

1) Those who agree with you are insane.
2) Those who do not agree with you are in power.

“The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words.”

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it it doesn’t go away.”
--Philip K. Dick

I wanted to write about the moment when your addictions no longer hide the truth from you. When your whole life breaks down. That’s the moment when you have to somehow choose what your life is going to be about.

“We are the middle children of history, raised by television to believe that someday we’ll be millionaires and movie stars and rock stars, but we won’t. And we’re just learning this fact,” Tyler said. “So don’t fuck with us.”

“Recycling and speed limits are bullshit,” Tyler said. “They’re like someone who quits smoking on his deathbed.”

“When did the future switch from being a promise to a threat?”

“To stand here and try to fix her life is just a big waste of time. People don’t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.”

“More and more, it feels like I’m doing a really bad impersonation of myself.”

“…masochism is a valuable job skill.”

“The answer is there is no answer.”

“Every addiction, she said, was just a way to treat this same problem. Drugs or overeating or alcohol or sex, it was all just another way to find peace. To escape what we know. Our education. Our bite of the apple.
Language, she said, was just our way to explain away the wonder and glory of the world. To deconstruct. To dismiss. She said people can’t deal with how beautiful the world really is. How it can’t be explained and understood.”

Big Brother isn’t watching. He’s singing and dancing. He’s pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother’s busy holding your attention every moment you’re awake. He’s making sure you’re always distracted. He’s making sure you’re fully absorbed.”

“Experts in ancient Greek culture say that people back then didn’t see their thoughts as belonging to them. When ancient Greeks had a thought, it occurred to them as a god or goddess giving an order. Apollo was telling them to be brave. Athena was telling them to fall in love.
Now people hear a commercial for sour cream potato chips and rush out to buy, but now they call this free will.
At least the ancient Greeks were being honest.”

“The trick to forgetting the big picture is to look at everything close-up.”
Chuck Palahnuik

“We’re all puppets, Laurie. I’m just a puppet who can see the strings.”
--Alan Moore, Watchmen

Random girl.

The air was full of spite and hate,
till you walk into the room,
I am not a shallow man,
But your lips, they make me swoon.

Your boyfriend doesn’t like me,
I’m sure your mother would agree,
but if you let steal a one kiss,
forever happy will I’ll be.