u know I never dreamed about men, husbands, anything like that. never had plans to marry. Im not one of those girls who ever thought even for a second about ‘what my wedding would be like’...ok I take that back…I thought I would climb to the mtn top with someone; exchange joys of the heart and be committed by our love forevermore..no ceremonies, no paper, no rings…I think it was an X generation thing. Then, I met this one guy. he made me wanna have an audience of 1000 so I could tell the WHOLE world about him. his family said no. he was a great guy..kindness, kindness…caring, love and humility. Then, 8 years, E-I-G-H-T years before my heart would be captured by another. It is now, captured. and I am trying become free. because he’s mean, inconsistent, unstable..he lies to me. I see his good heart, what is possible..but it is so covered in pain, neglect, hurt, suffering, need, darkness, fear…..how did THIS guy get my heart? there’s really no dream in powerplays and mind games, defiance and denial, insults and anger, hatred and frustration, darkness and demons…..I think… love cast out all fear…and there I am, curled in the corner with my pain and bruises.
lostandsearching has written 1 entry about this goal
fading....
9 months ago
