I could really use some bone of perspective that I lack at the moment. For various reasons, I’ve gradually drifted into isolation. Forces outside my power both family circumstances and my own coinciding social awkwardness/selfconsciousness makes forming satisfying, meaningful relationships difficult.
This has been a problem that I’ve grappled with in the summer too, but haven’t come to anything but more reflection on. I’d ideally like to graduate college with 3-4 solid friends, but am not sure how to ensure that I accomplish this. I am terribly depressed that I’ve fulfilled the counter-vow that I made to myself high-school graduation, when I’d determined to step up to the plate and make positive, needed changes in my lifestyle.
Unfortunately, the plans that I know are arranging the activities and places that I show up at. But showing up is not half the battle, as I can simply stay within my comfort zone, or even if I leave my comfort zone, am too worried about not making friends, which is a very legit. worry, that no conversation is purposeful.
