Meet my online friends

I’d love to do this.
But, I wouldn’t know what to say, there would be that awkwed silence! I need to learn how to converse.

Ah, today I have found out that my friend has been in college, with no access to a computer.
At least I know she’s alright and stuff.

It’s sad, I met a great, great person online, but, we never speak anymore. I have no way of contacting them, it’s even sadder, because this time last year I was sending a christmas gift all the way from England to America.
Her computer broke, so we didn’t speak for a few months, but when we got it back, we just didn’t reconnect.
None of my online community people have spoken to her for a while either, I hope she’s okay.

I find it hard to admit this, perhaps because of the thoughts of what others might say to me if they find out; but I consider some of my online friends my best friends. Even more so than the one’s I consider friends whom I see and talk to in person regulary.

My online friends have never once judged me, or mocked me, or made me feel low. They have offered nothing but advice and support when I have needed it and fun and jokes at other times.

I even lied to one of them at one point, making out I was 3 years older. I regret it, espeically when at first they seemed distant after hearing the truth. But I could not blame them, afterall, although it is so easy to lie online, it’s horrible to find out it’s happened to oneself; especially after just 2 weeks of speaking to me, he said I knew him better than most people. This thought still tightens my guts to think of it, because it shows how close we were, but only on the foundation of a lie. I deeply regret lying, but at the time, I thought our friendship would consist of nothing more than talking over msn, but then one night he said he would buy me plane tickets to visit him in America one day. That’s when I told all. I have hated myself since. Still so to this day

But, quite amazingly, we have rebuilt our friendship. He is now one of my best friends. But, the astounding, yet to some horrifying thing is, there is quite the age gap. 15 years, 14 as of october. It sounds horrable, ecpeically since we are of different genders, but he isn’t a peadophile, but a genuine and overall nice person. Of course, I can’t make anyone believe that, but I know it deep down, and I trust my instinct.

I regret what I did, but it was better in the end. Lying to them was about the worst thing ever, but I think they have forgiven me, and in time, I may forgive myself.