finish medical school and learn as much as I can until then!!!

This summer I did almost 10 weeks of internships in four different medical specialisations. I learned a lot, saw a lot and there were plenty emotional ups and downs!!!
Although I am still far from feeling “porfessional” or like a docotr yet, I am very happy I took the time. I literally felt the fear and did it any way :) I feel like I am going in the right direction….

I just finished a three week internship!:) I am very proud of myself for getting through with it, because it has been a rollercoaster experience for me with good and extremely bad (!!!) experiences. For one thing, I have to say that I really learned a lot and I honestly have to say, that this was the first internship where I actually felt like I was thrown into “the real world”. I am very thankful for that! BUT, the way this all happened wasn’t good at all and at times I really felt lost, unguided and extremely scared. and this simply shouldn’t be like that!!!

my internship is going really well. I am not learning tons of stuff but maybe a one ton…stupid joke….hehe ;)
no, actually, to be serious, I am really lucky. not only do I start to feel more comfortable in my own skin and more able to do stuff, I also really like the people that I am working with. this is not only good for my personal sanity but I also for my career. I can look up to them and learn a lot just by hanging around!!!
I still think that everything should be more structured but I have to make it work within the given circumstances, and given that, I am really lucky this time!!!

Today I started a three week long internship in a local hospital. As happy as I am about finally getting some real hands-on experience in the hospital, it is also a little frustrating. I don’t know about all the other countries, but in Germany there really is no real concept for learning the practical stuff. People show you some stuff but because of a chronic staff shortage people end up teaching themselves.
This situation favors the people who are always trying everything out without thinking about the consequences. This is not generally a bad thing but I don’t think that the careful, everything thought through approach that I prefer is bad either.
It is just hard to deal with the fact that due to this situation it is almost impossible for me to be a good prepared doctor just after my final exam. I really do want to learn but it is really hard to do this without a proper guidance. I feel like I am a child who wants to learn to play the piano and instead of getting the child a proper teacher the parents expect the child to teach itself like Mozart.