love my body

It’s an on-going process. There are definitely still days when I just want to hide under the covers because I’m in college and still breaking out like Jr. High and my sides are mushy and… but then I remember that the mirror is probably just super harsh, one of the ones that no one looks good in and I wear shirts for a reason, haha.

While I believe I accomplished this goal before it, the naked quarter really sealed this goal for me.

it’s much easier to love your body when you don’t have a 7th grader’s acne in college… sweat genes like no other and bags under your eyes from lack of sleep…

sigh

and sore hips that mess up the last half of your cross country season…

finally… it’s been a week since my surgery and after dropping from 50/55 miles to 0 I am back on the road! I ran 5 miles today in under 40 minutes… just barely sub8 pace! woo! I’m a little sore, but all in all… I’m back. and so glad at that.
I LOVE MY BODY WHEN IT’S WORKING THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO!
Now all I have to do is build those miles back up and run some serious meets ♥
wish me luck :D

While in Mentor today I visited a salvation army and bought two items. First I found a long sleeve green shirt that was adorable for about $4. It was a little expensive for salvation army prices, but well worth the $4. I’ll never find something that cute for cheaper. Then I found a dress that is typically $8, but all green tags were half off today! The dress fit me- well, almost just right, hehe. It is snug, but it’s made that way. My sister said it could be my “clubbing” dress for next month <3 We’ll seeeee. It’s brown and short, but yet, not so short I’m indecent. Basically it was a steal.
Ah, but the reason I am telling you of these new clothes is because when I can find stuff that FITS- I feel good. It’s like- all of a sudden it’s alright because someone else’s body must’ve been this size too and I’m sure they were beautiful (because someone else always seems prettier). That and when I looked in the mirror, I was cute <3 Running a lot has helped me feel—cute… or pretty or… whatever, but regardless, I feel it and that’s good.
yay for being pretty <3

ps. sometimes I even feel good after running when my hair is a mess and I’m sweaty and gross…
pps. He came in the other day to wake me up from my nap and told me I looked especially beautiful while I was sleeping—it made me want to go back to sleep
ppps. I love my legs right after they’ve been shaved… Despite the bruises and bug bites and funny li’l bumps that I don’t know what they are, haha- I like my legs…
pppps. I hope you appreciate your body… you’re wonderfully and carefully made and you can’t trade your body for a new one, so you might as well LOVE it with all your might.

There should be a picture that reads, “men should appreciate the beauty of women not just physically, but mentally because we are beautiful”.

today, in white shirt, brown shorts, green flip flops and cali necklace… I loved my body
toady, while he held me close, but didn’t push anything… I loved my body
Today when I had to change into his clothes because mine were soaked from the rain, I looked at myself and I didn’t care I was a mess… I love my body.

Today anyways. Today was a good day.
Thank you.
Love.

ps. For my graduation party I dressed myself in this cute outfit my sister and I share. It is a shiny green skirt with a sequined waste and a beige tanktop with a triangle top and spaghetti straps. I used the blow dryer and the curlers on my hair… put on some eye liner and powder. When I came downstairs my mom’s jaw actually dropped, it was cute. hehe. Then when Aaron dropped over before work he kept saying that I was pretty… a lot. By an hour or so into the party my hair had lost its curl and my body just sagged in the outfit, but for a good half hour I was beautiful and I felt it

for awhile I felt good about my body and now… ugh.

It’s the not running.. I know it is.

I’ll always have these stupid breakouts and fat in unattractive areas… and small areas that I wish weren’t small… and i’ll always be sweaty and… okay, you get the point. It’s just sometimes I don’t care. I love my body anyways, because this is how God made me. I just don’t feel like it today. I wish I could feel like that everyday.

Instead I do the I-don’t-have-any-clothes-that-fit cry in the morning. I hate that feeling.

okay. I have to run tomorrow <3