Complete "The Artist's Way"

LOL. I had to laugh when I saw that I checked in for Week 10 on March 21st. That was nearly seven months ago, and I haven’t even been letting this sit on the proverbial back burner. It’s just that I’ve had so many other things going on that I only get to it once in a while. That in itself is an exercise in Autonomy (Independence) – studying at my own pace.

MORNING PAGES: I first started doing them 2 years before I started Week 11 for this second go-round. I’m still at it. I don’t feel the need to rid myself of extra words EVERY single morning anymore, but I have filled 364 sheets of notebook paper over the past 210 days, and that averages out to 1.7 pages per day, so I’m keeping up. In fact, when we went to Europe this summer, I didn’t write a single “morning page” (my ramblings and affirmation, etc), but I did fill an entire journal with our travelogues and my impressions of Nice, Florence, Rome, Venice, Lake Maggiore, Lucerne, Paris, Calais, Dover, London, and everywhere in between. Then when my mom and I went to Maine, I kept another journal of that trip, and she thought it was cool, so I bought her a journal, too. She started Artist’s Way many years ago, probably when it first came out, so she knows about morning pages and did them for a while. She told me keeping her journal reminded her of that.

EXERCISES: By the time I was done, my Chapter 11 re-write was sectioned off into seven exercises, most of which are outlined in the book. My rendition of Week 11 is 22 pages long, while the original is only 13. This is significant to me because I already did this once and, really, completing it again is simply accomplishing Task 10 of Week 12. The first time I went through the book, my writing was in a little journal, 56 pages total. I am studying myself much more carefully this time.

This time through Week 11, I concentrated on one particular area of difficulty in my life that needs better Autonomy (self-government). My favorite reminder was no matter what my goal is, I should go at it like a beginner. ;)

TASKS: OK, 1, 2, and 3 were stupid drivel and a waste of time. Julia Cameron asking people to worship her instead of finding their own things to stand for. Whatever. I changed them around to suit my needs. Task 4 was enlightening. I liked the part on page 85 where she says that writing morning pages symbolizes a willingness to communicate with God. That’s what my affirmation does for me. Well, that’s what prayer and daily scripture study do for me, but my affirmation acknowledges His Hand in my Life and I write it IN my morning pages every day. I dutifully wrote out Tasks 5, 6, and 7, and did find a good insight. I’ve changed my daily routine to include working on my 43T goals, so a year from now, my Life List should look a LOT different. That will be interesting. The letter for Task 8 turned into a package full of goodies that will help me achieve my various art goals, but I didn’t mail it. No sense in wasting the money. I was outraged at Task 9. Julia Cameron is cracked. “Re-examine your God concept” ?! God is not a “concept” that can be rearranged to suit a mood. I know Him. He gave each one of us Life and all things exist to remind us that He loves us. Just look around. God does help those who help themselves—like this: Here’s all the Joy in the Universe. Help Yourself! I’ll make more. Too many people leave the blessings sitting on the table. Task 10 allowed me to ponder on some of mine.

ARTIST’S DATE: Oh, my goodness. What have I done since last March that wasn’t an Artist Date?! I made several gorgeous flower arrangements for a church conference in April and got tons of compliments, even from people I didn’t know. I had wedding flowers, sewing projects and my Spring piano recital in May. We went to Europe in June, primarily Italy, and if going to the place where Art was invented and learning about the old Masters isn’t an Artist Date, I don’t know what is! A camping trip in July was very nurturing. The trip to Maine in August was for a painting class, so that was an Artist Date anyway. Plus, my mom and I had a blast exploring Maine and New Hampshire together. I made a wedding cake in September, which used my artistic skill as well as my very last ounce of patience. And just last weekend, I finished editing my daughter’s book. My life has been full and full of nice things and that’s why it took seven months to do one “week” worth of activities in The Artist’s Way. :D

ISSUES: Heh, heh. Well, I know I do NOT want to go into the wedding cake business.

SYNCHRONICITY: Everything! Everything works together to bring me the things I want and need. I get what I focus on, which is the FACT that Life is BIG and wonderful and trials are there for me to prove that I am strong, and blessings are there to remind me that trials pass anyway. Oh, and this quote: Time flies whether you’re having fun or not.

First of all, I think taking my time and not letting anyone else’s idea of what I should do and when I should do it is an important step in self-protection. Of course, I have to be at school at designated times, but that still, is a choice.

I checked in on Chaper Nine four MONTHS ago. In that time, the Artist’s Way book and my journal haven’t been sitting around forgotten at all. I was working on it between Thanksgiving and the trip to Cancun and making Christmas cards and enjoying the holidays with all my girls home from colleges, and the long-term sub stint throughout February. I was lucky to squeeze in the dozen or so days I did!

MORNING PAGES: Let’s see. I do them MOST mornings. I’ve cut down to about 2 pages per day, but it’s both sides of a full-size sheet of notebook paper, which is much more writing than 3 pages in a 5×8 journal. Just for the record, I’ve only written 26 days since November 21, 2008, but I’ve filled 73 sheets of notebook paper. A lot of days, I would write 5-8 pages, and then sometimes just 2.

EXERCISES: There were 10 exercises in chapter 10, or at least that’s how I broke it down for myself. I realized that I never have bothered to protect myself effectively from people who want to hurt me. I still don’t, but now I don’t have as much of a need to. I don’t take anything personally anymore. I know I don’t own anyone else’s problems, so when they lash out at me, or try to use me, or attempt to guilt me into something, I can look at their actions objectively and calmly and either support them in their stress or tell them where they can stick their evil intentions.

There is an entire section about workaholism. I’ve never had it, so the quiz was just a long way around to tell me to stop putting off fun until the house is clean.

Drought. A whole section on drought. A few of the insights JC shares on drought are interesting, but I doubt she has ever lived through a real, real one. Like having no water for 14 years. That’s what Arizona has been like. We haven’t had any substantial rainfall since 1995. This year it feels different. Maybe because we redid our yard and I now live in an oasis of peacefulness, but I think our drought may really be coming to an end. There is a lot to learn from having to live without water. Ms. Cameron says personal “drought” is fighting with God. Not so with REAL drought. WE pray, even if it is just for rain, but it’s usually not. We have come closer to God through this drought. Drought makes a person stronger if they have the wherewithal to withstand it.

Fame: Near the bottom of page 171, she says, “The point of the work is the work.” How true. If you don’t like doing something, find something else to do or someone else to do it. To me, Fame is an exercise in futility. Being known for greatness is not a bad thing, but depending on being known is. There are an awful lot of people out there who can’t be happy for the success of others. Everything is a competition. If one person gets a compliment, they think, “What about ME?”
How can I help others to see that one person’s success takes nothing from them. There’s a few of these people around me. I can feel myself being separate from this trap and I am glad. :)

Interesting: the first time through the book, I just read the chapter and didn’t even take notes on the Drought or Fame parts. Now my discoveries take up 4½ pages!

Another great quote in the Competition section: “All work is influenced by other work.” page 174. Great perspective!

TASKS: The Deadlies was stupid. 5 pages of dumbness. I wrote that much on it, so there are probably some insights in there, but the whole pulling paper gimmick was lame.

On the other hand, I LOVED THE TOUCHSTONE EXERCISE!!! I wrote three whole pages and loved every minute of it. =D

Task 3 was useful. Task 4 was rather pointless, considering there was no follow-through activity assigned to any of the so-called “bottom lines.” Task 5 was full of nice reminders.

ARTIST’S DATE: Hmmm. Over the past four months, I’ve done tons of stuff by myself, any of which could be considered an artist date, but I think, really, what I’ve done that promotes self-preservation the best is simply sitting in my big comfy chair on my front patio first thing in the morning, reading my scriptures, writing my morning pages, listening to the mocking birds, doves, sparrows and finches, and watching my hilarious little hummingbirds flitting around and clicking at me. My Dearest gave me the best Artist Date ever by tearing out the old overgrown garden, building that courtyard and landscaping the front yard.

ISSUES: Overall, I think my need for self-protection leans toward NOT being taken advantage of and NOT being sucked into the emotional game-playing of people who might enjoy hurting me. There are a few of those folks scattered around my life. My focus is to be an objective observer to their words and actions. Then even if their intentions are to cause me pain, I can watch and listen without internalizing any of their crap.

SYNCHRONICITY: I have been writing “invitations” for things or experiences that I want in my life experience. MANY of these have come to fruition! Just a few that have “synchronized” in the past few months are: a trip to Cancun with the invited Travel Vouchers; a new, beautiful courtyard and a fun, welcoming home; new kitchen counters, sink and faucet; new wood flooring; new behaviors from my Dearest that have brought us closer (such as reading together at night and going on walks, plus a lot more good stuff); a support system in my efforts to get back into size 10 jeans; and last, but certainly not least, PINK PENS! I love pink ink and have been searching diligently for pink pens. The other night, I found something on Amazon that had free shipping, but I needed to buy another $6 worth of stuff. I found some pink pens for $7.99/doz and they came yesterday and I am very happy about it! =D

Finally! I finished up Chapter Nine on the 12th and haven’t been able to take time to check in. I don’t really have time now, either, but I’m not going on to Chapter 10 until this is done, so here I am. I like to keep track of how long it actually takes me to do each chapter thoroughly. Even though it’s been two months since I logged in for Chapter 8, I think it really only took me about 30 days to DO Chapter 9.

MORNING PAGES: I have written out 50 pages of notebook paper since September 19th. Dividing that by 3 pages per day comes to about 18 days. 18ish/30ish

EXERCISES: Well, the book’s chapter is only 10½ pages and my rendition of it is 24 pages because I made every section into an exercise. I picked 4 or 5 areas of my life that need Compassionate Understanding, from me as well as those around me, and wrote about each one in relation to the themes of Fear, Enthusiasm, and Creative U-Turns. Then I did the Block Blaster exercise for each of my chosen topics.

I had some good breakthroughs, but nothing earth-shattering. Usually, something from each week will stick with me, but this time, not so much. Maybe it’s because I had too much other stuff going on. Then again, maybe it’s because I have too much going on right now and don’t really have time to ponder properly. Meh. Whatever. It’s all written down. I can go back over it later.

TASKS: Task 1, Part 1 was to re-read my MP. I do that every so often anyway, so no biggie. It is a good way to remember when certain things were happening, though.

Part 2 was probably the most helpful thing in the entire chapter. Take Stock. I was able to reconcile myself to the love of my father. I never believed in it before. He ditched us when I was five. Some time before that, I had drawn him a picture of the two of us holding hands and smiling (stick figures, I’m sure, considering my age at the time), but he kept that little piece of paper in his wallet for the rest of his life. He did love me. Too bad I didn’t figure that out until 27 years after his death. I wonder what happened to my little drawing. . .

Also in Task 1, Part 2, I was able to release my mother’s other daughter from ever being a good sister. She really is a 39-yr-old selfish, immature brat. We didn’t grow up together, so I know it doesn’t have anything to do with me. It is purely from her need for attention and the fact that she doubts love. I can look at her now and see the sometimes mean, sometimes thoughtless or even destructive things she does and not feel threatened or angry. I am free.

A really good piece of Synchronicity occured to me while thinking about Part 3 of Task 1. Take Heart. When I want to accomplish something, I am in the habit of praying about it. If it hasn’t happened, I’ve gotten discouraged, but the other day, I figured out that I probably wasn’t doing my part fully.

I needed my pink flip flop. Simple enough thing, but the silly shoe had been lost for about a month. I really wanted to wear all pink and white that day and so I prayed for some help. Then I veritably tore the house apart looking for the pink flip flop. I found my green pumps under my bed, and my black flip flops behind a picture that hadn’t gotten hung up yet, and my navy blue flip flops under the science project boards. I was delighted for the gift of ALL my lost shoes, but still no luck on the pink flip flop. I said (out loud), “OK, I know you know where it is. I’ve done my part. Where is my shoe?”

Finally, I heard that little voice tell me to look behind the couch. My juggling ball was back there. A couple of socks and a book, too, but no pink flip flop. Then I turned my head and saw my pink flip flop under my husband’s chair. The reason I could never find it in a month is that the only place it was visible was from the back of the couch, a position I never would have gotten into under normal circumstances. NEVERMIND that I don’t put my shoes away! I’m learning this lesson the hard way. Give me a break.

Anyway, that was freakin awesome and I learned that whatever it is, I have to do MY part. Prayer is a two-way street.

Task 2, the Visualization activity, was pretty fun. I came up with a nice little motto, which I actually forgot about until reading it again just now. I guess I should post it somewhere.

Task 3, Priorities, was kind of hilarious. It tells me to write out some of my Creative Goals. Well, surprise, surprise. That’s what 43T is for. Except that every time I put up a creative goal, just to remind myself that I’ve invited that activity into my life, someone else joins my goal. It’s like I can’t have anything of my own. Ever. But alas, such is life.

Task 4 was about Creative U-Turns. I found 5 areas of my life, some not exactly “creative,” and made some decisions about how to improve them. It was good.

ARTIST’S DATE: I actually had two highly Compassionate Artist Dates, both during the month of November. The first was painting a very large backdrop for a friend’s church activity. She was having a program in her back yard for the teenage girls and their parents and wanted her shed transformed into a giant mural of Jerusalem. It was SO cool. [I’ll post a picture somewhere, but not here. Maybe under the “New and Fulfilling” goal.] Anyway, I got to spend about 7 hours all by myself, painting and enjoying my own talent.

The second one was for a conference at church that involved about 5000 people. I volunteered to do the flowers and they turned out great! I spent two and a half hours in the kitchen at the church, building two huge arrangements that would sit on either side of the pulpit. Waves of excitement kept surging through me as I watched my hands work and knew that my expert eye was a gift from my grandmother.

SYNCHRONICITY: The fact that those two Artist Dates came up right while I was on Chapter Nine was awesome.

There would have been another gymungo act of service, in which I would have been building sets and painting scenery, but the director of the play got hurt and her assistant bailed on her, so she cancelled the play. I was reluctantly relieved. That was good synchronicity, since my house has been full of visitors all month and I really needed that time to clean.

Also, Arizona has been having Autumn this year. I’ve been rejoicing in it and my Dearest remarked that it was because I invited it with my beautiful flower arrangements all in Autumn colors. Awww! ♥♥♥

I also invited Hummingbirds and Butterflies into my yard. I think there has only been one day in over a month that I haven’t seen a butterfly. The day after I wrote this invitation down in my Morning Pages, a hummingbird flew right up to my face and scared the crap out of me! But she and her mate have been out there, clicking and humming at me ever since. :) It’s NOVEMBER and I have Hummingbirds! Yay!!!

. . . SOOOOO did not count as part of this goal, although I did manage to at least read and re-write the chapter during the slow times at the Corn Maze.

Be back soon to report. I just have my Tasks and Artist Date. Hmmm. What goes with Compassion? Hey! I actually already have something!

Oh wow! I started Chapter 8 on July 11th. That was 70 days ago! Ten weeks by the calendar only, though. I do my Artist’s Way work as part of my morning routine, and I was out of town a couple times and working all through August, so that whole month doesn’t even count for this. Also, we have church at 8:30 in the morning this year, so I don’t do my morning routine on Sundays, either. So really, it’s only been 17 days in July and 16 days in September. Still more than a week, but much more realistic.

MORNING PAGES: Out of the 33 days I had available to DO morning pages, I did them 20 times. It’s been a hectic couple of months, but I never put this on the back burner. I worked in the book and did my MP every chance I got. 20/33.

EXERCISES: My Chapter 8 is 34 pages long! I think I must have turned every page into some sort of exercise, assigned in the book or not. The Survival section took the first page and a half of the chapter, but I spent 4 pages getting through it. Good insights! The way I aligned it with Strength is that you have be strong enough to “Survive” insensitive and critical people.

My best insight from the Ivory Power section was derived from JC’s statement about teachers. A lot of kids (for lack of a better term – it happened to me in college) allow the destructive criticism of their “Can’t do, Teach” instructors to keep them from following their dreams. Since I am a teacher, I have always gone out of my way to encourage my students. I will never be the one who destroys someone else’s dream.

My favorite little quote from the chapter is in the Gain Disguised as Loss section. It’s from John Cassavetes: “In order to catch the ball, you have to want to catch the ball.” Intention goes a long way. Also, possibly the best lesson in the whole book: Learn to say, “What next?” instead of “Why me?” What if everyone did that?! So I went through several areas of my life with the question, “How have I learned to say What Next?” I do it pretty well, generally. People admire it, but really I just keep looking for the silver lining until I find it! Case in point, the picture above. That masterpiece of nature was the greeting I received one morning when everything was being put on hold so I could go substitute teach. We just have to look outside and there He is. That is why I love doing my morning routine on the porch!

During my reading of the Age & Time section, I had a neat experience. I was subbing for a reading interventionist and there’s a poster across from her desk with a sepia-toned picture of a little kid standing next to an empty baseball field, holding his little bat and his little glove. The caption reads, “An expert at anything was once a beginner.” It’s OK to be a beginner! I am not old and my dreams are not crazy.

The thing that ends up being the point of the Filling the Form section is that right now, today, there is something small and concrete that is the next logical step in getting something done and that that small thing can make a big difference. That’s a good point. Too bad she used so many words to get to it. (Oh, heh heh. I should talk, right?)

Ok, I’m almost done. The Early Patternings exercise took me 6 pages, handwritten. It was really nice. Lots of tender relationships to look back on. Then I wrote out my Affirmation again, which I love and I write it every day and tell it to myself when negative people enter my circle.

TASKS: Task 1 was long. Task 2 was incredibly helpful. Turns out I’m glad my life happened just the way it did. I always wished for a sister – before I knew I had one – and now I’m glad I grew up without one. I’m glad I was favored. I’m glad I was the boss of the neighborhood, the spokesman of my family, and the protector of my little brothers. I’m glad I started working at the age of 7 (real work at a real flower shop for real money), and developed the work ethic that I still have today. I LOVED Task 3! Color is my favorite thing in the world. I define myself as “the whole box” of crayons, and got to explore and play with color for a couple of days for Task 3. Task 4 was kinda whiny. I didn’t really enjoy it. Task 5 was cool. I learned that I am not intimidated by solitude. Most of the time I love company, but when I seek Peace, I usually find it. Tasks 6, 7, and 8 were all about the Ideal Day. Attitude. That’s the answer. The Ideal day is where you look for it.

ARTIST’S DATE: My Artist’s Date for Chapter 8 was an actual Date. I took myself out for a day on the town. I went a couple places that I’d never been before, which was fun. I came home with a used Dr’s scale, which is accurate to one fourth of a pound. I got a new exercise ball (to build up STRENGTH, of course!) And took myself out to lunch somewhere new.

SYNCHRONICITY: It is always at work. Sometimes it works in reverse. Like when I was scheduled to sub last Friday, but I had so much going on that I didn’t really want to, and then the teacher got back into town early and called to tell me she wouldn’t be needing me after all. She was concerned that I was counting on the pay, but I just smiled and said it was fine and thanked her for thinking of me. ;)

I have been exploring Week 7 for 20 days. I really like taking my time through the book. It lets me ponder the connections more deeply. This was a great week! I wrote 12 pages along with the book.

MORNING PAGES: 9/20. I do them consistently enough to not get out of the habit. Sometimes I have to be somewhere early and I never get back to them, but all in all, I do pretty well.

EXERCISES: I’ve taken up looking at each section of each chapter as an exercise. That’s the biggest difference from just reading the chapter and doing the tasks that I have experienced and it has made quite a difference in my enjoyment level of the book. So this week, I did Exercises in the areas of Listening, Perfectionism, Risk, Jealousy, Archaeology, and Positive Inventory.

I found that I am a good listener on a multitude of levels, from just being present and paying attention when people are talking to me, to internal, spiritual listening, which is how prayers get answered, and whatever is in between.

I looked at JC’s definition of perfectionism as “a debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are [doing, so as to] lose sight of the whole,” and came to a wonderful discovery: That is what it means to “not see the forest for the trees”! I’ve heard that saying all my life and thought about it in a few different ways, but now it makes sense in a way I will remember.

Good Enough Really IS Good Enough =and= Not Everything Has To Be The Final Draft.
Those are my best insights from the Perfectionism exercise.

As far as RISK is concerned, I go by a motto (not sure where it came from, but I did not make it up) that says, “A ship in Harbor is safe, but that’s not what ships are made for.” I know the difference between risk (feel the fear & do it anyway) and stupidity (not caring who gets hurt and doing it anyway).

My Jealousy map was hilarious. There’s only one person listed on it and I’m really not jealous of her. She just has a way about her – kind of crazy and loud – that I wish I had. I guess the thing I’m a little jealous of is that she goes out and does fun things with her friends, although she did invite me along once, but I had another commitment that day.

HA! My Archaeology exercise was amazing. PATIENCE PROVEN! Every single one of my “missed opportunities” are things that have come to me later: Piano lessons, a sister (half, anyway, and I didn‘t have to grow up with her), teaching, a church, a bicycle, privacy and time to myself. The one thing I can’t get back is my dad. He left when I was 5 and died just before I got married. It would have been nice to know him.

TASKS: Task #1 was blah, blah, blah, more of Julia Cameron’s ego. I have my own mantra. I don’t need to spend my time embellishing hers. I have everything I need to feel GREAT all the time! ♥ :) ♥ There’s a mantra for ya! It works, too.

The Week of Connection seemed a good time to go back to Week 4 and re-read my letters from 8 & 80. I think I did that for Task #1. My attention to the rest of the tasks came in the form of doing what I do, but paying attention to it in different ways. I “connected” to my senses. I listened to birds and crickets and lost myself in the beauties of nature. I bleached some laundry and appreciated the fresh smell of the whitest whites. I wore my white blouse fishing on the 4th of July and now it is spattered with fish blood. Well… now it’s my lucky fishing shirt! So much for wearing my good clothes for no special occasion. The funniest one was #6—Buy some wonderful socks. I had just done that! Thorlos are expensive socks, too, but they are OH, SO COMFY!!!

ARTIST DATE: A couple different excursions, this time shared with others rather than just my artist and me on our own. The first was a day out with my mom. There was a suggestion for task #3 to go to an aquarium store, or some other “sacred” space. Serendipitously, one of the errands my mom needed to run was to PetsMart. So I dutifully went over and looked at all the fish. It was fine, but my artist really liked just being out with my mom. We haven’t gotten to do that in a long time and we talked about a lot of different things. OH! And I was able to return HER copy of Artist’s Way because I finally found my own . . . at a thrift store for $1.50! How’s that for Synchronicity?!

The other was just last weekend. The 4th of July in the forest. The small town in the high country had the most beautiful display of fireworks and I got to spend 4 days out of this dreadful heat. I love the desert, but we’ve had a lot of days over 110° this year. The display of nature and truly timeless wonder did not escape me. In fact, it filled my senses to overflowing (seriously! the joy was leaking out through my eyes). The Dearest and I somehow connected in a way that is turning out to be permanent, but somehow in the 26 years that I’ve known him, had never happened before. Anyway, it’s good.

SYNCHRONICITY: Some of my “invitations” are coming to fruition! It really is amazing. When you ask, nothing doubting, you really do get your heart‘s desire. Accept Miracles. Have Faith. And know that you only have to worry about the “what,” not the “how.”

ISSUES: You know, I think I’ve let go of having to have issues with things. The opinions and actions of people who do not live inside my body are the belongings and possessions of others. They have no way to offend me. I have been reading over some of my entries on this journey through The Artist’s Way and I laugh now at how annoying I found some of JC’s statements before. When I come across the same nonsense now, I just translate it into my own thought processes and do an exercise about it. I’m having a great time re-doing this book!

Ok, well I didn’t have time for ALL the tasks this week, but the only one I’m skipping is #5, which is sort of ironic, since it describes one of my other goals on 43T. It is to write postcards (or nice notes) to people, but I do that fairly often anyway, so there’s no point in waiting to check in until I get around to it again. I actually finished reading through and doing all the exercises within a week of starting the chapter this week. That was a few days ago, but this is the quickest I’ve gotten through a Week since I restarted the book in December. My rewrite is 10 pages long.

MORNING PAGES: I do them most days. I have given myself a couple other challenges to tackle as well, so sometimes I don’t get to “morning pages” per se, but I still write every morning. I have really come to appreciate my Affirmation, and over the months it has changed a lot. That’s good. That means I have experienced a few changes that I was seeking and thus needed to modify the affirmation. I have also added something that I call my “Invitations” into my morning pages. I invite things, people or situations into my life experience and they COME!!! Several things so far, like free piano lessons, a piano, a laptop computer, travel vouchers, and a new pantry in my kitchen!!! Wow.

EXERCISES: The gray area on the right-hand side of page 105 got me into my first exercise of the week. I thought about several areas of my life in which money could be an issue. I resolved all my fears . . . about money anyway . . . but then I realized that there are a couple fears that I blame on money, which are really just paranoia. Bottom line: I can welcome money into my life now. It’s not like I would get all snooty if I had some anyway.

• Do what you are meant to do, and do it now.
• Have all the Joy and Abundance you want. God will make more. There’s enough for everyone.
• What you really WANT to do IS what you were really MEANT to do.
• Practice the Law of Allowing and you will be met with great Abundance.
  Well, obviously some of those are my thoughts and not from the book, but it’s still good advice.

JOY: Wow. The Joy exercise I derived from the simple sentence in the middle of page 110 was awesome. What gives me pure joy? I wrote out some amazing Possibilities for myself.

I discovered as I read page 112 that my inner artist still likes the word, “mine.” Also on page 112 is a marvelous observation: Serious Art is born from Serious Play.

The exercise in counting (as in counting every dime you spend for a week) was not really necessary for me to do again. I don’t spend much money on necessities OR luxuries, but I did deliberately go out and buy some stuff for my Artist Date that made me feel good, so it wasn’t a wasted exercise.

The Money Madness quiz was funny. I didn’t look back at my answers from last time until I finished it. Most of the answers were word for word the same! The #9 answer was interesting: If I could afford it, I’d… last time I wrote, “take piano lessons.” Well, that has come to fruition and I don’t even have to “afford” it, thanks to bartering. In the past, I’ve been rather proud of how we have gotten by with virtually nothing. I do regret not being able to afford music lessons for the girls when they were little, though. Now, as I read through my list and compare it to the list of last year, the only changes were because I am not afraid of money anymore. I know that I hold no worship of it, so it is safe now. It can bring security and opportunity… and lots and lots of travel! ;)

TASKS: I took Task #1 a little differently this time. Instead of going to the park or a vacant lot somewhere to look for pretty rocks, I went to the mineral store. I bought a veritable rainbow of rocks, all shiny and polished and all less than a square inch in size. Perfect for rubbing with my thumb. Task #3, to get rid of items, came up right as the charity truck was due for a trip through my neighborhood. The rest I just DID, no big deal. I made lime jello for #4.

ARTIST DATE: Small but satisfying, and in a few increments. First was part of Task #1. While I was at the rock store I thought, “I want to find a rock with a red stripe all the way around it.” Have you seen what’s in most rock bins? Polished, stained agate. Pretty, but not what I was looking for, so I stayed away from it. I did find a stone in every color on the scale, and as I was looking for the white one, lo and behold. There it was. A little off-white rock with a red slice all the way through it, which made a red stripe go all the way around it. I don’t even know what kind of stone this is, but it is awesome and is a personal glimpse into the Law of Attraction.

Another part was to dig up the dead verbena on my porch that fried in the heat and replace the pretty red color with something more permanent: Silk geraniums. I wasn’t going to smell them or touch them anyway. I just wanted the shock of red to go with the yellow of the daffodils (also silk—it’s the only thing that doesn’t die in this heat) and the blue of my comfy chair. Now my porch is a nice place of cozy solitude… Well, in the early morning anyway.

The last part also has to do with my morning time on the porch. I love mocking birds and they have filled my mornings with their funny songs, but lately I’ve gotten several pairs of finches (both yellow and red) coming around in the mornings. I decided to buy a birdfeedeer and found an adorable cedar one that looks like a little cabin. I filled it with seed and hung it in the tree.

SYNCHRONICITY: I already mentioned the striped rock and the charity truck, but I’ve noticed a bunch more! The tutoring gig that I wrote about for Week 5 is giving me a summer income. The laptop computer that I put on my invitation list a few weeks ago is coming to me now because Best Buy just put the one I wanted on a super great sale. Travel vouchers is another thing on my invitation list, and the other day, the Dearest walks in with the mail, holding not one, but TWO different invitations offering trips to places we want to go. Yes, we have to sit through some guy yammering on about his travel club, but we are good at that. We can DO math. It gets’em every time! Even the fact that this particular week was about money was serendipitous. It was the perfect time for me to examine how well I have always done without and be even more thankful that I don’t have to anymore. =)

Week 5 has been a month and a half of fun, most of which time the book has been lying on the table while I was off gallivanting around the country. Until the middle of May, I was only working on it while sitting in the bleachers at my Dearest’s softball games twice a week. Then we went to Florida and I did not take it with me, so I’ve really only been at it since the 20th of May, or about 17 days. In my notebook, my Chapter 5 is 22 full pages long, whereas JC’s is but 14.

MORNING PAGES: I do them. Almost all the time. I am establishing a new morning routine for summer and they are back in the daily plan. All through April and May, I was substitute teaching, and the morning page habit became a bit sporadic. Out of the 17 days that I actually worked on this, I did morning pages 15 times.

EXERCISES: On page 94, Julia Cameron suggests an experiment with “prayer” pages, pondering at night and finding truths in the mornings. I didn’t exactly try it her way, but I have always found that ACTUALLY praying does a pretty good job, and then I write the answers in my morning pages. Maybe my evening pages are what I produce sitting here on 43T at night.

I really like the idea on page 95 that Dependence on God is really Freedom from all other dependencies.

Each week as I go through and rewrite this book, I contemplate how each new topic ties in with the ones before. To me, possibilities (this week) open up when my inner artist feels safe (week 1). In my past, I had been the victim of someone stealing my ideas and selling them as their own. This has made me super-protective of anything I produce, to the point of not showing my art or writing to very many people. (I even have this sensitivity right here on 43T when people join my personal goals). Of course, I cannot become well-known for my art or writing if no one knows about it, so you see the conundrum.

Oh, where is it in the book? Oh here it is. Page 98. Deprivation IS NOT a virtue. Oh, really. But in Chapter 4, that was supposedly the only way to get undone things done – by depriving ourselves of something we love. Then in Chapter 5, we should never deprive ourselves of the things we want to do. Make up your mind JC! Parents ARE supposed to put the needs of their children ahead of their own desires. Children are the ULTIMATE creative endeavor, and raising them right is the most important thing we will ever do on earth. How dare she say that putting your kids first is a virtue trap. uuuuugh!

The Virtue Trap crap aside, I loved the Virtue Trap Quiz. Of course, I am not a self-destructive person and rarely have been in my life, so I found it fun. I can totally see how some people might struggle with it, but then hopefully find it cathartic.

The Forbidden Joys and the Wish List exercises were helpful, too. Most of my stuff overlapped, which really helped me to see what it is that I truly WANT in my life.

TASKS: Wow. I am so much more focused now than when I went through this book the first time. This “week” I figured out what I really want to put on a vision board and made that a separate 43T goal. Last time, I wasted a lot of time and paper (and money), scrapping up magazines and sticking the pictures in a box, never to be looked at again. I will go through those things, too, as I find visions for my board.

Task #3 on Imaginary Lives was fun this time. I used my imagination, but stuck with things that would be conceivable in my world. Tasks 4 and 5 were essentially the same for me, but that is probably because I’m right in the middle of those ages. My favorite Task this week was #7, which surprised me. List 10 items you would like to own but don’t. ITEMS. THINGS. I am not much on the collecting of STUFF, which just has to be put away and taken care of, but I have already acquired one of the things on the list and have financial permission to get FIVE MORE of them!!! Granted, the one thing was just a pair of socks, but not just any socks. Thorlos. That’s a $12 piece of foot heaven!

ARTIST DATE: It’s the craziest thing. I wanted to discover some POSSIBILITIES this week, so I began with my self. Lots of Possibilities! My hair hasn’t been cut in quite a while. Maybe I should go to a salon. No. That would be a hundred dollar Artist Date. I usually cut my hair myself. I was trained as a teenager when my stylist was invited to LA to cut hair for celebrities. He actually apprenticed me for a few months before he left, but with no intention of getting licensed, all I could do was cut my own hair or my family’s hair, which I still do. Anyway, I cut it myself and it looks really great. The Dearest even asked me where I went to get it done! Next was my trip to the sporting goods store to get some Thorlos. They are wonderful. OH! I also went to the beauty supply store and bought some manicure supplies, so I guess I get three little goodies out of this Artist Date. :)

SYNCHRONICITY: The whole Artist Date thing was some really nice synchronicity, as was the timing for Task #7. One of the things on that list was a laptop computer, and we are going to look at them on Monday. Another really cool thing is that the trip to Florida gave me jetlag and that made me go to bed earlier, as it seemed to be 3 hours later for several days. The awesome part of that is that I had been hoping and wishing to get up earlier once summer set in. I haven’t slept past 6:00am since I got back from Florida on the 21st of May!

I became part of someone else’s Synchronicity, too. I got a call from a friend whose daughter was having trouble with reading comprehension, wanting to know if I knew how to help her. She had to leave a message because I was at the school doing READING INTERVENTION! When I called her back, she said that in her morning prayers, she had been asking how she could help her daughter and she got the very strong impression to call me. Now how am I going to turn THAT down?! I would have helped her for free, but she insisted on paying me, so now I have some extra cash to cross some of those things off the lists I made this week!

Week 4 took me 21 days to complete, and that was not putting it aside to accomplish other things. It actually took me three weeks to rewrite the chapter for myself. My version of it is 18 pages long. Julia Cameron’s original was 12 pages long.

MORNING PAGES: I do them regularly. I figure I’ll still be doing them into my 90’s, so if I miss a day here & there because I have somewhere to be, or because all my waking time is spoken for, it’s no big deal. Out of the 21 days this “week”, I did morning pages eight times. There was no problem with them. I’ve been substitute teaching and cleaning my house and traveling with my Dearest and having a great life. I just didn’t write down my ramblings every morning. On those mornings, people had to hear them instead! ;)

EXERCISES: The “Honest Changes” section at the beginning of the Chapter was useful. It helped me see that the anger I feel toward two permanent people in my life is well-deserved and that I don’t even need to do anything about it because it isn’t poisoning anything. It’s there and it’s justified, but it’s in the “virus vault.”

I liked the statement on page 83 that I AM MY OWN NEW FRONTIER.

I turned the paragraph at the top of page 85 into an exercise in studying the changes in “reflection” as I let go of exterior frustrations and nurture my personal energy.

The exercises on page 86 were fun. I added to them a specific list of things to accomplish while on the Week 4 Deprivation (which for me, doing this the 2nd time, was NOT from reading), but I did six of the ten things on my list, plus way more.

THE DEPRIVATION: I did fine with it. I decided that since JC’s purpose seems to be to find something worthwhile and stop doing it in deference to other worthwhile things for a week, it really didn’t matter what worthwhile activity I gave up, but I knew for sure it WOULD NOT BE READING!

I am a reading teacher.
Right there is enough said, but think of the ramifications.

This exercise certainly was not intended to get people fired or to set rotten examples for children, but since I saw absolutely no point in it last time through, I decided to see if The Deprivation itself had some kind of merit and I actually did observe some.

I went on Cheer Deprivation, which meant that for the past 3 weeks, I have not been in my office, sitting at my computer at all unless I had something to write about. At that time, I only wrote what I came in here to write, checked my email, and got out. The only cheers I gave were to those people who commented on my entries. I did not spend time reading other people’s entries and commenting on them, or giving away all my cheers every day. This saved me tons of time, which I did use productively, but it also made me feel disconnected. Cheering people is one of the best parts of this site and now I appreciate it more, I guess. I also appreciate all the cheers I received during this time, even though most of them have not yet been returned.

The most important thing about any Deprivation (including Lent) is that it has to have a purpose. Do it to accomplish something – not to punish yourself. Write a list of everything you want to get done during the deprivation and DO IT!!!

TASKS: I think the tasks in Week 4 are the best tasks in the whole book. The season/environment observations were enlightening. The letters from 8 and 80 were inspiring. The ‘life situation’ examination was helpful. But Tasks #4, 7, and 8 were especially wonderful to me this time around (actually last time, too).

Task 4 was to find a special secret place… like Gobo in Fraggle Rock… The 1st time around, I had just claimed my college daughter’s room, which already looks like an art gallery, to be my studio and set up shop in there. This time around, I needed a place where I can’t hear the TV. When we got the piano, I had to move furniture around, and the big comfy chair wound up on the front porch. WOW!!! Oh, lovely Synchronicity! Now I have a place to read and write and work things out and even take a nap if I want to! Yay!!!

Task 7 was my Extended Artist Date, which just happened to coincide with a trip to my favorite “artsy” city – San Francisco. Just got home last night, in fact. That was the last thing to do before checking in here. It fit here at so many levels. I hiked up and down miles and miles of steep hills. I bought original artwork from an artist on the street. I took tons of gorgeous photographs. I filled my eyes and my mind with scads of ideas for my own art! And I met lots of interesting people.

Task 8 was to open my closet and get rid of something that doesn’t make me feel terrific. Meanwhile, on my list of things to do during the Deprivation: Filter the shoe collection! Unbelievable.

ARTIST DATE: My regular Artist Date was something I have been wanting to do for quite a while. There were 3 parts to it. One, I have been avoiding the gym. The personal trainers there accost the patrons to sign up for training and it’s so annoying that I want to either punch them or sue them, but instead, I allowed them to drive me away. Well, I’m done with that and I have returned. The second part is that I bought a portable CD player to take to the gym … or on walks … or use in my big comfy chair. The last part of the Date was to go to the library and check out some nice, inspirational audiobooks, which I have been enjoying immensely.

SYNCHRONICITY: All of the above, plus some stuff with my husband and my sister and my daughters. I have also noticed that most of the “wishes” I had while going through this book the first time have come to pass. That is an awesome illustration of The Law of Attraction!

There’s no way in You-Know-Where that I’m giving up reading ever again in life, so I’ve been really pondering the question of what habits I have that “numb me out” as Julia Cameron puts it.

Enter 43Things. There is a certain aspect of this website that takes me away from accomplishing my daily tasks, not to mention my CREATIVE tasks.

I’m not talking about posting entries when I have something to say. I’m talking about whiling away hours every week, reading other people’s very interesting, enlightening, and even inspiring entries and endeavoring to give away all my cheers every single day.

Perhaps it is a worthwhile goal in itself, but for Week 4, that is what I am giving up. I am going into Cheer Deprivation. It is probably pointless, too, but not as pointless as Reading Deprivation!

So don’t anybody take it personally this week when you don’t get a cheer back from me. I will not be catching up when I am done with Week 4, either. That kind of time commitment would be detrimental to the rest of my life.

There is something else, too. I often find that I scold myself for spending so much time just sitting in the morning, so I may keep doing morning pages, but only for a few minutes, and with a theme each day. It usually takes 40 minutes or more to write 3 pages, and if I like it the way I do it for Week 4, I’ll probably change it for good. We’ll see.

{{{{{CHEERS IN ABSENTIA FOR SO MANY WONDERFUL INSIGHTS}}}}}