mindfulness

and I have been listening.

a business trip this week, without any anxiety…..GO ME!!!!

I did awesome.

but I am much better than I was. Changing behaviors is probably the most difficult thing a person can do, especially the shit that is going on in your head. This will continue to be a challenge this year and a primary focus. This is where all my problems begin, in my head.

I heard someone at an AA meeting say, I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a living and thinking problem. I really believe that. So staying sober, or having any success in any area of my life, in achieving any of the goals on this list begins with my ‘thinking’ and that is where the focus has to be for me to succeed.

much further with this goal if I would journal more often. I am finding when I think about these goals, and all the other things I have going on I can still feel very overwhelmed. I am still not quite clear in my head.

and it has to do with this anxiety issue of mine. I am ruminating over things over and over again and it interferes with my making progress on anything. As I slowly get my anxiety under control, I am becoming more efficient. I am very excited about this.

the tools that my therapist has given me for relieving anxiety has really helped a lot here and I know I am only scratching the surface. I can’t imagine how much more there is in this arena that I can improve upon. But this is a great start.

I feel good about that.

going through all the LSW sheets that I had made. I do have a pile of random sheets of paper that I also need to get through and add to a notebook of helpful hints (indexed of course) with all the ‘how to’s’ of management. who to contact when you terminate somebody, the PBC process, expense report completion, returning a computer and so forth. If I could get through this lat pile and get that notebook started I think I would feel a whole lot better. (for me, having everything in it’s place really relieves anxiety because I think know where to find everything at my fingertips.)

and stop worrying if I am doing the same things as a the rest of the guys. It seems like everything has fallen into place and all that I am really stressing over is this stupid LSW sheets that I have not reviewed and entered into my computer. If I could master this one part of my job I would be so much better off. I am going to work on this.

Also need to include the weekly overview which helps with planning.

And the only other thing that would make my life a lot better would be to get those last two items completed, the coverage piece for charts for Chris and the deployment summary for all the rest of the team. (Also gain a better understanding of the deployment of my own tool set.)

I think it is all about creating new habits.