I’ve sort of stepped past the “caring what they think about me” to “impressing people just enough to keep my ego intact.” I won’t consider it finished, though, until I no longer need any validation at all from the jerks to make me feel better about myself, and until a nasty comment doesn’t make me question my own worth.
Half the problem lies in trying to figure out who I don’t like. Of course I want to impress the people whose opinions matter to me (who, ironically, are the people who don’t judge me on trivial matters). But the rest of the world falls into a couple of categories: people I don’t know, people I respect but don’t like, and people I don’t like OR respect. The last category is a no-brainer. I don’t care what those people think. I do, however, still attempt to impress them, lest THEIR friends be people I do like who will believe things that are said about me. The “don’t know” category is fairly simple, too. But what about the ones I respect but don’t like? How much does it matter to me what those people think about me?
I need to just be myself, and to hell with everyone else. Goes against the “be less self-absorbed” goal, but I’m starting to wonder if that’s a bit overrated.
