So i left my husband a few years ago, 3 years after my major episode and diagnosis. I was lucky to find support in someone, of the male sort. He helped my transition by physically being there and giving me hope and illusion, but emotionally, it was void. Today, that relationship is coming to an end, this really feels like the divorce for me. He’s never been there for my fibro, and he also not there physically to help out as we break up. So, today I took care of myself, like the big girl I was pre-fibro- I built a cabinet kit i purchased.I felt proud. I hurt, my hands are hot, red and puffy, but I feel independent and on my way. I have children to raise, and the saddest part is being alone, emotionally. The most maddening, frustrating, and angering part, is that I never needed the physical presence of a man, but today, i really need help. I’d love a hug, i’d love a rub, i’d love all these, especially when one feels sick. Today, however, I feel proud.I could have asked for help from other friends, but i didn’t. I relied on myself. The instructions were a pain with my HHV6 concentration and memory problem. I kept on confusing the instructions, but i would go back and find my place. My dexterity sucked, and I lost a few nails. My fingers were more like glue, than actually holding the nails in place. Now, I have a great cabinet, and red puffy hand to prove it! Off to a warm epsom salt bath.
