meditate daily

I think this is on hold until I start getting more sleep. Or else, I have to be awake enough in the morning to be aware and relaxed without relaxing too much and falling asleep… which amounts to getting more sleep/going to bed earlier.

Or maybe start meditating at lunch… hmm… I think I need to reevalutate when i’m meditating because i’m never home and i haven’t been riding the bus consistently/other people i know ride when i ride/i sit next to someone chatty. which is cool. i want to be more social, just i also want meditation time.

Today it was so difficult to focus on my breath and not my thoughts. On the bus I tried to focus on knitting, but the thoughts just kept swimming up. Today, I suppose I have an unsettled mind, which makes it better that I tried to sit, even if the thoughts kept interfering with my awareness fo my breath, the effort was there. The intention.

I missed yesterday. I rested, but laziness without meditation. I didn’t focus so much on awareness. That’s okay. I just need to build a routine and stick to it. So today, is again day 1.

And maybe, just work on brining awareness more into all aspects of my life.

Day 11. Twenty minutes with a timer just focusing on my breath and the ticking sound that my house phone (apparently) makes. mostly on my breath, but it was a sound i’d never noticed before.

I’m surprising myself. Just ten minutes a day, except for the bus, but a general effort to be more aware throughout the day. Driving with the music off and focusing on being present.

I was driving today and caught myself imagining telling the story of getting cut off (thinking of talking about the past in the future) and repeatedly had to make myself come back to just being present and paying attention to my driving, no the imagined audience in my head. It was odd. I was knew that I was trying to be present, and kept reminding myself of that, but then I’d be back telling the story of me getting cut off again and again in my head. It’s funny, I suppose, in that it coincides with the zencast I listened to yesterday on thoughts. How sometimes you just have to grit your teeth against letting your thoughts take control of you.

Yeah, so day ten and awareness.

Day 9. Still going. Though on the bus this morning I was half asleep. Another ten minutes before bed tonight I think.

This bus thing is really working for me. I think the guy kitty corner from me was meditating too.

Meditated on the bus this morning… and tried in the afternoon, but in the afternoon I wanted to take a nap, but I did meditate on the bus and I’m going to try again tonight before I go to sleep.

Totally meditated today on the bus… I tried to do a driving meditation—stopping the thoughts and just watching the road and being aware of things without actively thinking. Also, tried the whole awareness thing while I was swimming.

Day 5