be a great mom

I feel like a great mom this week. On Sunday we threw a Pirate themed party for my son’s 10 birthday. Most of the party was allowing the children to play pirate with all the regalia. Each child was given a headscarf from my vast collection (and they all wore them proudly during the entire party, even asking me to retye them after play) there were eyepatches, hand hooks, earrings, swords, daggers, blunderbusses, ill-gotten booty to get, and whatever lived in their imaginations. They each got a tattoo from Ye Olde Tattoo Parlour, and they also had the opportunity to warn trespassers by marking the sidewalk with chalk drawings, signs and maps. We also were able to have some ample time playing with birthday toys before pick-up. I baked a cake with Jolly Rogers on it… which I hope to post later. It all was so fun, and I was not completely shattered afterwards. Instead of fixing dinner, we went to Olive Garden afterwards with just the kids… and it was really nice. Egan later thanked me for his birthday party, and that felt so good. When a ten-year-old thanks for you something, and it isn’t prompted… priceless.

Sometimes I feel like I do so much for my kids that I drag my friends into doing stuff for my kids. Today, I dropped my daughter’s car off at the mechanics, and as my partner couldn’t follow me there, my best pal Kiyo came to my rescue. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to get to work on time. Taking the bus might have been an option, but I would have been over an hour late! The trades we make. He was happy enough to do it, although I think it made him about 10 minutes late to work! Happy Earth Day!

It is especially difficult when your child gets a broken heart. But we can’t save them from this part of living. You’ve just gotta tell them that they will heal, and go out there and get their hearts broken again.

DailyTao.org
Tuesday, 20 March, 2007 :: 10

Can you coax your mind from its wandering
and keep to the original oneness?
Can you let your body become
supple as a newborn child’s?
Can you cleanse your inner vision
until you see nothing but the light?
Can you love people and lead them
without imposing your will?
Can you deal with the most vital matters
by letting events take their course?
Can you step back from your own mind
and thus understand all things?

Giving birth and nourishing,
having without possessing,
acting with no expectations,
leading and not trying to control:
this is the supreme virtue.

Translation by Stephen Mitchel.
DailyTao.org Widget by Glen Sanford.

Learning together! What a treat!

How many millions of times did I hear my mother say that to me and my brothers? I smile a little when I say it to my son ad nauseum. He gave me a little look yesterday, and I said that one day he would just hear me say it in his head and I won’t have to remind him anymore. He smiled back.

Visual gags, puns and stories at the table with bagels, hummus, creamcheese, fruit salad, and onion rings. Great combination. Gen was home from college for food and laundry, boy fresh from a visit with his dad, Steve and I tired from a weekend of chores, volunteering, and obligations. We had a great time. No other guests… just the 4 of us, simple meal, great attitudes.

I keep hearing people talk about parenting as if we were making our children become who they will be. What about now? It seems to me that the children are already themselves. If anything I feel it is my job to help them preserve their personhood… save them from those who would change them into something they aren’t. Sure, they will learn new things and be challenged morally, but children aren’t incomplete adults… they are complete people in the now. It is not for me to choose who they are, just to acknowledge and respect. Growing is a process we all are in the middle of…

Not in any hurry to cross this one off my list. The journey is the important part… not the finish line.

My son freaked out at school on Friday because it was time to turn in his work, but he wasn’t done yet. Later that day, over sandwiches (never forget the awesome power of a well placed sandwich) we talked about not ALWAYS having to finish something. I mean how much guilt do we pile on ourselves for not finishing something?

Enough. Dare to not finish what you started. Clear the decks. Make a fresh start. Let yourself off the hook!

I learn so much from being a mom. We should get college credit for this.