be a better Christian

So I paid this girl to write my essay. She said she and her boyfriend worked hard on it, gave me the flash drive and was on her way.
I found out she didn’t help out too much and the boyfriend copied it RIGHT from the internet. Great, huh?

Now I’m accused of plagarism, but Im not in trouble, so it’s okay. I’m just mad that they took my money and didn’t even do the work. But they are giving me my money back (I hope)

I could start rumors to make myself feel better. And yes, it would make me feel very very good. But I’m not going to. Whats a major theme in christianty? Forgiveness, seventy times seven. She forgave me for being a total bitch to her and I’m sure I can forgive them for doing something compleatly STUPID. ^{I could have just pulled an all nighter and bullshitted an essay…}

lesson learned, and I’ll try not to a bitch towards her. For now.

Like I said, my faith has ups and downs. Now, the ups and downs are getting worse and worse.

First of all, I need to get rid of all the crap in my life, like anger and how I judge people. I’ve put so much effort into getting closer to God, I can’t just give up now. That’s definetly not what I want (even though it feels like it sometimes =[ )

My faith has ups and downs. And this time I realize I need to be more active or whatever in my faith to make sure it doesn’t get to a low point again. In Luke 13:24 it says something like do everything you can to enter that narrow door.
I’ve already done a few things to keep my faith up. First of all, I’m going to go to my favorite church and I’m not skipping my thursday bible study meetings anymore. It’s only for a half hour, it’s not like I’m giving up my whole day. And its right after school, at school. I have no excuse not to go.

I also have an alarm set for 8pm, it’s when I take my birth control for PMS and drop everything and read my bible and pray. So its gaurenteed I’ll read.

I’ve decided,

that I’m going to do everything I can to have the best faith possiable and live, really live, for God. The inner peace I get from having Jesus in my life is better than any temporary happiness the world can give me. And if people think I’m werid, then whatever. That inner peace is more important than anyones acceptance.

This is what I told my grandma. Her reply? “I don’t know where your mind is at sometimes.” That kind of hurt. But she can think I’m werid all she wants. Rejoice in the lord, right? Not in the accepteance of other people.

I’ve been going to my boyfriends church Sunday evenings and I think I’m going to start going there regularly. I like it so much better than the other one I was going too. I feel so much better after a service at the new church. It’s pentacostal (pentahostle, but that’s mean), but I like it a lot.
Now for the rumors. Everyone is going to think that I’m ditching them for my boyfriend. But that couldn’t be farther from the truth. They can think what they want, I’ve decided I’m not going to let it bother me. It’s about my faith, not my boyfriend, my friends, or what the pastor thinks.

I haven’t read my bible in a week, maybe more. I’ve been trying to make more time. I totally forgot this morning, so I’ll probably end up reading on the bus.
I blame the boyfriend.

What I can improve on:
- Stop judging others (I don’t know if she’s a hobag or not)
- Go to church more (it isn’t necessary, but it helps a lot)
- Read the bible more

I’ve been focusing on the personal relationship, and there’s no doubt that I’ve got that down. now I’m wondering, what can I do now that I have a strong faith?

that it doesn’t matter what issues come up in my life or whatever kind of pressure I get from others, God is still numero uno. I need to stop comprimising and keep him in mind all the time so I can make the right choices.

I used to think that following jesus would be impossiable, but after a while, it gets easier. It’s always a challenge, but you know it’s not anything you can’t do.

I’m finally getting back to church every sunday and wednesday, I’m reading my bible everyday and remembering to live like a christian out side of church.
I remember before I really devoted my life to god, I was kind of stressed out about it. I knew my life wasn’t going in a good direction and I knew exactly what I needed to do. I was telling my grandma about this and she said, why are you worring about this? you should be having fun! You can go to church when you are old.
That made me relize I really need jesus in my life. It was kind of odd, my friend knows the bible inside and out, he was at school one day by accident. He was supposed to be picked up at a different school (he’s there for a vocational class). I don’t even think the bus was supposed to be coming back to our schoo. And all we talked about at lunch was how if you don’t devote your life to him then you’re basically going to hell. It scared me so much, it felt like I was going to pass out lol.
That was all I needed to really get, I guess you can call it, my new life going.
If both of those things hadn’t happened, I’d probably be drunk off my ass right now or something.