stay straight edge

So almost a couple years later and i am still smoking and drinking. I ran out of cigarettes today and did not buy any new ones even though i really wanted to. I forgot to go to an alcohol screening thing today at my school, but that was because I think i bombed my math test. :( I will keep on trying. I think my best attempt will be after school when there is less stress on my back…hopefully

ive been smoking out of my mind lately and last night i went bowling with coworkers and was offered weed and said no so be very proud of me. :) how is everyone else doing?

last night i got stinking drunk. and the worst part is that i acted like an idiot in front of my coworkers. and on top of that i paid for someone to actually like go out and buy me alcohol and it was in a bowling alley and it was so dumb. can’t say i fucking regret it though. :)

I started going out with this guy 11 months ago who was straight edge and he really introduced me to the straight edge philosophy and lifestyle. I committed myself to a drugfree lifestyle from that time i went out with him. Now that we are broken up I have started to drink again. The last Time i drank was one week ago. I would like to stop drinking and never drink again. I want to stay straight edge but it is so hard. I am not really straight edge until I can really buckle down on this issue and recommit myself to this lifestyle.