Be absurdly classy.

The tackiness of my ex’s new relationship being all over facebook for the world to see a month after our two year relationship ended is finally getting to me. Because we live in a small city, have many mutual friends, and he plays in my favorite local bands (they were my favorites before he started playing with them, just to be clear), it is inevitable that I will see him again. And just as inevitable that I will see them together. I don’t want him back and I’m nowhere near ready to make nice. I just want to handle that moment with dignity when it comes.

I know that this situation could be way worse than it is, believe me, but I have never had to deal with something like this before. I’m trying very hard to be classy…advice would be extremely appreciated.

Totally broke my classy streak in my breakup during low point day by letting my anger out at him in a tirade…over text messaging. Ouch, that was lame. The embarrassment and regret still stings, but it will be a lasting reminder that the high road is usually the better one to take, and one element of staying classy lies in taking a deep breath and thinking about what I want to say before I start talking.

I should probably curse much, much less.

...why does it have to be so fun??

I know, I know…wardrobe is not the core of class. A good wardrobe doesn’t hurt, though. I’ve been taking an honest look at my closet and weeding out any unflattering or cheaply made clothing. I’ve also been shedding any items that don’t promote feelings of class or maturity (not dowdy, just…adult). So far, I’ve managed to lose quite a bit of clothing I was clinging to for years, and have purchased three nice shirts and two nice dresses (one of which I need to have tailored). I even plan to start dry cleaning items that need to be cleaned in that way (I used to completely ignore that direction and handwash or febreeze any dryclean items). I need to finish letting go of shoes I no longer wear and purchase some high-quality footwear, but I’m working my way up to that (I’m already missing a pair that I hardly wore, but really liked).

1) I don’t allow room for change. For some reason, I expect people to always be exactly as I remember them, no matter how many years have passed or how few interactions I had with that person.
New habit: Allow for growth. Let people surprise me.

2) I have a tendency to diss a certain celebrity who went to the same high school I did, because said celebrity was very rude during that time (but really, who isn’t a jerk at some time or another during his or her sophomore year of high school? I know I sure was!).
New habit: If I can’t say anything nice, I don’t say anything at all. Applaud the success of others and keep criticisms to myself.

3) When I’m in a bad mood, I deal with it in unhealthy ways. I’ll eat something sugary, I’ll snap at the people around me, and/or just zone out by watching TV or wallowing in self-pity.
New habit: Deal with negative emotions in proactive ways, like writing in a journal, exercising, or identifying and discussing the things that upset me so I can learn and change from the experience without getting caught up in emotion.

4) I don’t always deal well with change. I worry, I freak out, and I give up so easily.
New habit: When the going gets tough, practice Daoism; learn to be strong and flexible, to change along with my surroundings and find new ways of doing things in the process.

5) When I’m in a large group setting with people I don’t know, I tend to shut down my personality. I’ll be very shy and won’t interact with people because I assume they aren’t interested in getting to know me. As a result, I’ve made some pretty pathetic first impressions on people and have had difficulty making new friends in college.
New habit: Utilize the old trick of pretending everyone is wearing a “Make me feel important” sign around their neck. If someone is clearly uninterested in being friendly, let it go gracefully and move on to people who are open to new interactions.

You know who I absolutely adore for her class? Kate Winslet. From what I hear about her, she seems like an individual worth knowing…which is something I admit I hope people say about me…

But yes. Kate Winslet=my new role model for being classy. And Audrey, of course. (But that goes without saying!)