Tell my dad how I really feel

...and while I got to speak to his wife, I didn’t hear from him until yesterday.

We don’t speak much. In fact, I think this was the first call since my last entry but I love that dude. This’ll be hard but it’ll be done.

...but I don’t think marring my “Mother’s Day” call with this heavy issue would have been appropriate. Doing it over the phone isn’t appropriate at all, really.

He’s got “Baby # Who Really Knows” coming next month and I don’t want to confund the man but I do need to broach the topic sometime this summer. I think I’m ready to do this now.

That in itself is a relief and takes weight off my shoulders.

I think my dad is pretty great… as a father to me. He was a sucky husband to my mother and admits as much himself.

Why? Well, I have several half-siblings (most born during his marriage to my mom) and he was in their lives very rarely after conception. I have a lot of guilt about this and I shouldn’t because it’s his burden – one that I wish he’d handle – and not mine.

Other than that, he’s a fun, handsome man and I actually compare my mates to him. My partner, for example, has the same level-headed approach to conflict resolution my father has. You’d never hear either of them yell. It balances out my temper tantrums nicely :-)

I do have to talk to my father about my (errr, I mean his) issues with my siblings. I’m hoping that as he approaches his 50th birthday next year that he’ll want to atone. My brothers and sisters are really hurting inside from his lack of presence in their lives.

And, after doing the “single mother” thing for the past three months (my partner’s overseas), I don’t envy the huge task that single parents have to undertake. Especially if there’s no financial support. I can’t even imagine that!