I have a friend who has a process that she calls “assessment.” She evaluates the actions and relationships of many of her peers, and concludes that they cannot possibly be happy. If they are, they are pretending. She refuses to pretend along with them. She is entitled to real happiness, and will not settle. I think she’s just lonely.
I came home from my trip. She asked me to tell her all about it, and began the assessment process promptly. Maybe it was the combination of being sick & jet-lagged, or maybe it was something more like bravery, but for once, I stopped her. I do believe she is entitled to real happiness, but maybe it is she that is pretending? It takes a negative person to know one, and I had been negative for so long. I told her she was not allowed to assess my reality, because I really am happy now.
She stormed off, obviously insulted that I called her judgmental. She is so hard to see the inner beauty in sometimes, but I will not let her judge the grasp I have on mine. I was positive in my confrontation, and this unnerved her. This was my realization that standing up for oneself has nothing to be with being selfish or mean or cold-hearted… it is the ability to be proud of your own happiness without having to defend it. Much like her, I refuse to pretend.
