practice health

hmmm…not sure how I feel about this…but I couldn’t control my eating enough to even lose the little I needed each month to reach my goal by the end of the year. And I couldn’t get motivated to exercise…so it has come to this. Doing ok so far, trying not to get too obsessed and trying to make sure I don’t over do it – remembering that the slower the loss the longer I will keep it off…but when you see the numbers something in me goes crazy and I start thinking how quickly I could lose the weight…will I never learn!?

I am eating healthier, no doubt about that. Wholegrains, and fruits and veg and lots more water. But I’m afraid that the girl inside of me, the one who cheats and sabotages herself constantly, well I’m afraid she has me all sussed out. I had a huge meal last night and then sat down to an ice cream cone, and then I ate a caramel chocolate oh and a candy cane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to focus a little harder on health I think, and tell the other girl, the one who likes to eat for the sake of it, that enough is enough!

today I drank loads of water, ate heaps of fruit, walked at lunch and was pretty conservative when it comes to junk food. Planning to do yoga later.

I lost weight. I always do. And then I always put it back on again. Something has got to give. I now weight 64.2 where I was nearly 60 and in May 08 I was 57. At new years I was talking to a friend and she was asking who was going to lose weight in 09 and I said I would, several times. And it always happens. So each day I’m going to try and do something good for my health, be it physical or mental. Look after myself and only weigh myself once a month (yikes that’s scary for me). I’m going to try not to focus so much on numbers but on making me healthier and happier and I figure that the weight loss will follow. I give myself until the end of 2009 when I hope to look my healthiest ever. Even if I only lose a kilo a month – that’s 250 g a week which is not much at all. I will be the lowest I have been since I was about 20.
I want to be lean but strong. Have my skin glow. No more aches or pains. I want to have been to the dentist, learnt to stretch again through yoga, be calmer and more mindful and be eating the rainbow everyday. I want to make water an unconcious habit, breath more deeply and slowly without thinking about it, love myself and my body and be proud of the woman I am (not dreaming about who I want to be and hating myself for not being her already). I am already great, I should treat my body with the respect it freaking deserves!!!!